TOP REASONS WHY
... I'll never be a "Mr. Bam" (you know that chef guy) :P or a Martha Stewart for that matter:
1. Everytime I attempt to cook (i.e. broil or fry something), I trip the smoke detector. Ok, not always. But most of the friggin' time.
Now a friend told me that to "untrip" that irritating alarm, you have to cover the detector with a damp cloth. At my God-given height (bless my ancestors), even when I stand on a chair, I still can't reach the ceiling. So how do I do it, you ask? Am not telling... hehehe.. Kakahiya sobra...
2. I have to use Mama Sita's food mixes to cook adobo, sinigang, and tocino for heaven's sake!
3. I could never cut the correct size for those clingwraps.. Gah.
4. The only motivation I have for washing the dishes and pans after is my purple scrub with butterfly design.. (Ok, so here I could always use the dishwasher.. But still...)
5. I have not yet cooked without getting burns on my hands and arms.. Ouch!
(But I do know how to cook rice... Not using a rice cooker, mind you..) ;-)