Whew. Didn't think I would finish deleting, archiving through 8 years worth of files and emails. But I did it!!

My unsolicited advice to all of you? Please archive your files sooner than 8 years. Hahaha. Grabeh. I cannot even begin to recount all sorts of emotions that I went through the last 3 or 4 days of doing this. Hahaha.

To my ex-officemates, I have no regrets, but I do wish I made my decision sooner. So if you even have any doubts about the reasons you're staying, LEAVE. I procastinated for THREE YEARS, maybe more. It only got worse as time went by.

But if you have found your calling there - it is a good company, if not the best. I'm not hypocritical. That's the truth. I'm leaving because that life was not for me. I have given too much (but still not enough). And it's time to pace myself and do other things that I love.

Last night, I finally cried (lagi kasi akong happy! hahaha). I'm not just leaving a job. I'm leaving a whole life behind me. What a decade it has been. And most of all, the thing that got to me was all the friendships and connections I've made through the years. Hopefully, the friendships will continue on (at least the ones that count :))...

Well, I'm off for one last hurrah in the tropics. (Naks). And won't be able to blog for a while.

See you around. I'm outta here!

Labels: goodbye, personal

Found this saved IM conversation during one of my worst start-ups ever. Ngarag to the max! No qualms saying goodbye to this part of my past :)

Me says:
btw, we have not tested anything yet bec. we only released it 4pm.. thnks for pointing out the correction...
US manager says:
OK. I didn't see a Test Floor Release notice from J. Anyway, now all you need is some TIUs that work and you could actually do something.
US manager says:
Are we having fun yet?
Me says:
yes, bec. he was down in test floor until 4 pm. then had to leave bec. of shuttle...
Me says:
gawd. fun. wat does that mean?
US manager says:
Our fun learning in the past hour is that the FT prgm does not have blah, blah, blah... till then pls watch your Handler temps.
Me says:
oops
US manager says:
Yes, oops.
Me says:
speaking of binsplit.. i'm assuming b3 is xxGHz...
US manager says:
Yes. B3 = xx, B4 = xx, B5 = xx, B6 = xx. How's that for official communication? Getting bin split info in an IM.
Me says:
hehe.. dat's more than good enough.. btw, G informed me no XX should be processed but planning is asking for "official" communication
US Manager says:
Yes, stop running the XX s#!t, it yields like crap, as you're seeing. But I'm not the one to give official communication on this issue.
Me says:
but G only told me in IM... i should cut and paste these things and pass them off as official
US Manager says:
i'm seeing 74% BS to B3 in one lot.. does not look right.. too good!
US Manager says:
In CV?
Me says:
yup
US Manager says:
Damnit. What's the lot #?
ME says:
63xxCxxx.. am luking at 8ball
US Manager says:
OK, just looked at the 8-ball data. I think you're OK, die temp measurements are right around 70C. Looks like the bin split is real...and awesome.
Me says:
great.. bec. (project manager) is asking for the data.. so i'm going to include the information, along with the erratum
US Manager says:
On initial inspection, I can't see any reason why the results are not valid.
US Manager says:
Does that guy ever sleep?
Me says:
where in the world is he anyway?
Me says:
he always answers to emails, no matter what time it is..
US Manager says:
He's in AZ, even though he's from PG.
Me says:
ah... so i guess he never sleeps then.. ok let me get all the binsplit info i have so far. then try get out of here in 30mins.. thnks!!
US Manager says:
Good luck. I had visions of getting out of here at 5PM today. Now I'm thinking of leaving shortly....so I can go back to the hotel and keep working!
Me says:
hahaha.. i wanted to do that too.. but nah.. working in (office) is way too fun to pass up!
US Manager says:
At least I know you're still cool. Dealing w/all these ATM folks, especially the ones close by me, is starting to drive me nuts. I'll stop bugging you, finish up and get out of there.
Me says:
k.. don't go nuts now.. we need you!!

Labels: past life

I guess this will be a running list. I discovered so many things, browing through all this junk in my laptop... Grabe.

4. I also cooked up another suprise - tickets to an NBA game since that is his favorite sport. (Shet, I think winner na ako sa mga surprise gifts neto ah. hahaha!)

5. I'm such a drama queen. I really have to tone myself down. Hahaha. Like I told R, I'm giving him space :p (Nagulat ang lolo, di nman daw sha humingi ng space :P)

6. That he stood up to my stalker! I never did find out who that ***hole was. I'm pretty sure he's from the office coz he knew the goings-on privvy only to people from work, specifically, for people within our circle.

-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Tuesday, February 13, 2001 2:40 PM
To:
Subject:

alam mo ang bastos mo....wala ka bang mommy o kapatid nababae.....nagsisimba ka ba? ba't ang sama mo....ako na lang kulitin mo....kahit ano sabihin mo.....tandaan mo may kapalit yan......hindi pa siguro ngayon.....btw, wag kang mag alala yung server mo na locate na.....sunod na yung actual place mo...

-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Thursday, February 08, 2001 3:32 PM
To:
Subject: sarap mo ms.

7. Wahaha. I just found a "pen pal" email too. Someone from Malaysia emailed me out of the blue. Checked in the address book, but I guess, he left before I did :)


-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Monday, August 16, 1999 11:02 AM
To:

Subject: Like to get to know u...
Hi ______,
My name is _____ & I'm from xxx Kulim. I got to know your name thru' "someone" in xxx & hence you get this "nasty" mail:)
If u choose not to reply or wanting to be my friend that's ok, no hard feeling, u can just ignore this mail. Anyway, let me introduce myself briefly:-
I'm attached in FCPGA platform & currently working as an equipment engineer. I have just returned from Arizona for the start-up activities. I'm quite young but think older than you(oops!). I have just joined xxxx for 7 months & has a total working experience of 5 years.
Think that's all for now. Hope we can share work contrasting work/life experience.
Bye & rgds...____

8. My long time Tico crush, still my crush, the reason behind my yahoo handle, was sweet and muy guapo! hehe.

9. I actually had erstwhile working relationships with most of my close office friends now. Di pa kame close noon. Kaya very polite and civil ang mga email exchanges :)
10. Throughout the years, I went through so much, professionally and personally. Kasing dami ng mga produkto ko ang mga boys na nag come and go. hahaha! Pero ang ibang produkto ko, till now, buhay pa rin. Hello, Coppermine! Hahaha.
11. I observed that higher level managers from the country M, do not like me for whatever reason. Meron hinadlangan nila ang pagiging FSAT leader ko (actually, yan lang naman, hehe). I guess di sila sanay sa mga babaeng lider sa kultura nila. Ewan. Pero etong manager ko naman ngayon, laging sinasabi "You're not nasty enough". Howell, I'll take that as constructive criticism. Not! :p

12. Andami kong dapat ibaon na sa limot. Like this person, who still never fails to greet me every birthday. Sayang lang at di kami tinadhana. Hahaha! 13. Isa ako sa mga pinalad na na promote noong focal 2001, the year of half increase! Hahaha.

14. People I worked with gave me nicknames : chapman, miao, tiger, party lady... It made working much easier and more fun :)

15. Nasa panic time na ako. Delete. Delete. Delete. Goodbye 8 years worth of memories :)

16. My conclusion after two days of going back to history? I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE. Actually, I should have done it a long time ago :)

Ok, enough of this, I guess. It was both draining and fun. hahaha.

" We are prisoners of our language, our organization structure, our nature, and our past. Break free or die. " - Words of wisdom from someone who retired from the company in 2001. (Found his parting package - yeah, as in powerpoint package ang goodbye mail nya, parang last will and testament, talo ang lahat ng goodbye mails na nabasa ko. hahaha!)

Labels: past

Labels: goodbye

Some of the memorable replies to my goodbye email :)

"Every once in while we reach milestones, chances to step aside and take account on how far we have come… and where we still have to go…

I guess this one’s for u. Goodluck bossing… Was hoping we could have dealt with the team longer… but… this is a milestone and definite feat!

Hope to see u again… "

"Oh whau!!! Quite shocking!!! I really really really hope is for the better!!!! Please do take care and wish u only success!!

Un abrazo!"

"Till next time – my board review classmate, group mate and peer

Good Luck on you next Endeavor and Continue to Enjoy Life"

"Good luck …It’s been a rewarding experience working with you as well….i’m sure you’re more than equipped to be successful in your next endeavor. keep in touch."

"Good luck sa iyo. Salamat at na-alala mo ko. Mabuhay ka! Alam mo bang inaawitan ako ng boss mo para pumalit sa kanya. Ayoko nga – sabi ko dehins na ko babalik. "

"I wish you all the best of luck! San ka pupunta? Nag-aalisan na kayo lahat, nakakalungkot… tiyak maiingit sa iyo si xxxx … he he.

Well, thanks for the friendship. I know you’ll be successful in your next endeavor coz you have what it takes to be a successful career woman.

God bless you and do keep in touch.. I’ll miss you.."

"Good luck. Sayang at hindi nasundan ang “I love New York!” natin. "

"Huhuhu! Kakalungkot naman. Anyhow, it’s a very nice farewell message. I think the best one I’ve ever read so far.

I wish you all the best in this new chapter of your life. It was a privilege knowing you."

"ahh..... you are leaving. all the best to you, and i cherrish those Prescott moments we had been through together. pls send me your email contact if possible."

"Goodluck in your new job /company T! Am sure you will continue to make waves there – loss for xxx though ! "

"All the best in your future endeavors and keep in touch.You will be missed by all of us at xxxx"

"Best wishes on your new projects of life, we’ll keep you in our hearts"

"I took this news with great grief but at the same time I’m happy for your new path outside xxx where I know it will be better!

So what I can tell you is ‘till next time and I wish you all the best in your life, hope to c u some day again!

Hugs and kisses my dear!"

"Knowing you I am sure u will do well wherever you go.. best of luck and hope we have a chance to meet again." (from our ex-FM)

"i'm honored to have made this distribution list. all the best in your future, wherever that may be. " (from our ex-GM)

" Wish you the best in your future projects. Muchas gracias for all your support. It was great working with you. Keep in touch."

"What a wonderfully artistic letter. Maybe you should write a book ? I only hope your next step is toward peace and happiness …

Best of luck and take care" (from another ex-FM)

"I didn't know you were leaving. I'm sorry to see you go. Good luck, find challenge and have fun in your new journeys. If you ever come back to xxxx , do contact us in ATM yield."

"Oh my gosh! Kakaloka… ang dami umaalis… good luck and I hope we continue to be in touch "

"Wow! I did not expect that you’re already leaving xxx…Anyway, good luck on your new path/career. " (from my very first manager)

" So sorry to hear you’re leaving! It’s been great working with you. I wish you nothing but success in your new endeavor."

"Good Luck in your future Endeavours, it was nice doing a skydive with you . Here is my personal email address ...."

"Nice to hear from you again lady, even though it’s a goodbye message. "

"God bless you and don’t forget your friends here at xxxx….If I can be of any service to you, here are my contact info:
Personal cellphone: 091x-xxx-xxxx, email... "

"Aww… nakakalungkot naman to see that most people I know and actually liked in xxxx are leaving one by one. But of course I want to be happy for you coz I know you’ll be happy in your newly chosen career.

I won’t forget you coz I always (for some unexplained reason, hehe ) ended up IM-ing you messages intended for my bf/now hubby, haha.. bisto tuloy! Sa GL ko pa, hehe..that’ll always made me laugh.. "

"It was great working with you in the PDE world and in Costa Rica. You've always have presented a smiling face and positive attitude. Best of luck with your new endevors! What are you planning to do? Any possibility of coming to Arizona?"

"Can't believe you are leaving the xxx network...or escaping it:) So, what is in store for your next adventure? Are you doing engineering with another company? Staying in the Phillipines? I wish you well whatever it is!"

"Wow – been a long time since we worked on Prescott -> its sad so many of the old timers have left in the last few years. You always had a great attitude and made work seem more like fun.

If you are ever in Santa Clara – or need something from the Bay Area – please don’t hesitate to call or email"

"So, you coming to US or going Singapore? All the best for you future endeavor. Hope we can meet up again somewhere some time. "

"Great to hear from you but sorry to hear that you are leaving Intel. (or should I say just a little jealous.) Good luck in everything you are doing in the future.

Feel free to keep in touch at your new home."

"Como estas?

Hey, nice to know about you and hard to believe you are moving. Was a pleasure to worked with you on Katmai here at CR Intel site. My experience with your were very very rich. I can tell you...you were first Filipina that I met and was a good impression. I wish a lot of good things for your new adventure. Hopefully we can meet in the future. God bless you amiga

Mucha suerte"

"Those were some fun times we had during those horrible products we worked on. You VF PDE’s sure know how to have fun.

Best of luck on your next challenge."

"take care, and good luck in your future endeavor. Keep in touch. Let me know if you swing by Penang."

"I shall always remember you as my lovely, lively and loving friend. I’ll surely miss you but I’m sure we’ll cross paths again someday. Do take care, and keep in touch."

"It has been a pleasure working with you….you have been so accomodating….and personally, I think you are a breath of fresh air…i wish you all the luck in the world…may God pour on you and your whole family all the blessings he can very well provide a good heart like yours….take care and keep in touch….THANKS for everything"

"thanks all for everything. I wish u all the best…. I know u can excel wherever you go, just keep that professionalism in you. Always smile!"

Labels: goodbye

Labels: goodbye

I hardly listen (or read) to the news anymore. With the elections coming up, most of what we see on TV are the BS coming from trapos, actors pretending to know how to pass laws, and all sorts of personalities, most of whom are not qualified to run our government.

Which is probably why I almost missed this bit of sad news. A Peace Corps volunteer has been missing since April 8. It's feared that the body found in Batad today is hers.

She has done so many good things for our country, while some of us are losing hope. Which gave me a new perspective. She loved our country without a doubt. While my own love is starting to waver.

My prayers go out to the friends and family of Julia Campbell. I still hope this news is not true. If it is, may there be justice.

Thank you very much, Julia, for all your selflessness and dedication in serving my country and its people. And hopefully, your disappearance will not be in vain.

Labels: Julia Campbell, news

Spent Good Friday with the family as planned. But we spontaneously decided to go to Subic for lunch. All the restos were packed! We ended up dining in Yellow Cab al-fresco, as the breeze was really nice. Until all our paper flates and napkins started flying around!! hahaha! After our long lunch, we headed back to Pampanga to hang out at my sister's place. While the kids were running around, playing, the oldies (haha) chatted, watched movies (Flushed Away is soooooooo funny!!) and took naps :) We had good ol' Pampanga-style sisig and some more for dinner. I always like the experience but I like the crispier version of sisig.

The rest of the long weekend was pretty much what I needed. Some peace and quiet :) 5 days went by so fast and in no time, it was back to the grind.

Thankfully, there is a bit of a relief as the countdown continues. My big day is getting nearer and nearer, and I'm almost done with my transitions. Yey!

Since the other campus was still on shutdown, we were at a loss on how to spend our late afternoons after work. No gym or badminton for us. But we managed to get creative (and by creative I mean, we ate sinfully, drank and was all merry most of the week, hahaha!). Also managed to meet up with an old friend in Starbucks Tagaytay after years of not seeing each other. Good to see you again, bro!!

But the highlight of the week was the gov crew's big summer party, which was really a multi-celebration of one birthday, and 4 despedida's! Four. Whew! Albeit, 1/4 is only temporary :)

Our birthday boy got the biggest surprise when he ended up cooking most of our barbecue (aahhhh). But what a great sport!! Happy birthday once again, and more sexy times to you! :) (Bakit nga ba hindi kayo pwede ni... hehehe!)



The special mix of the night was margarita!! K and I tried to take a shot but eventually, it was our resident bartender who perfected the concoction! Which earned him the right to be my number 2! hehehe. Thanks to you, K and I got the buzz we wanted. Yipey!

The four girls who are leaving pose here for posterity! Guess which four? :)

The birthday boy blew his cake before answering the now customary forbidden questions for birthday celebrants.

The sobriety didn't last long, as expected :p Maybe it was the margaritas, the beer bong, or the tequila shots that soon turned into body shots. Harhar. Truly, the gov crew knows how to par.tee :) And what happens in gov, stays in gov! :)

It was the perfect last hurrah. I will surely miss these guys!

Labels: family, govsters, holy week, party

I have no special plans on this very long holiday, and I wanted it that way. I wanted a time to just listen to my thoughts. A lot has happened lately, and I'm still quite overwhelmed.

Well, that was the plan. It didn't happen in day 1 (as I had spent most of it sleeping and watching marathons). And day 2, I'm going to my sister's, and we'll head out together to visit my other sister up north. There's still day 3, 4 and 5, though. Lolz.

Anyways, I did get to think about my relationship with R a little bit. In all the excitement that happened the last several days, I kind of forgot that it's been a year since we got together. Wow. Truth be told, I never thought we'd get this far. Yeah, me of little faith. And yes, I did say we're struggling to keep it together. But the truth is, I'm raising ruckus more than I should, really. He's not perfect but he's faithful, and he's a good man. And a patient man. Very patient...

I guess for me it's that self-preservation thing. I always say it's easier to run than get hurt. But I realize sometimes I get all geared up to run when there's really no reason to. And yeah, I don't want this to become a self-fulfilling prophecy, so I'm dealing. And I hope he is, because I can be quite a handful. And that's an understatement. Haha.

Anyways, it always freaks me out how everytime I have a problem with R, exes of whatever kind suddenly show up. I just laugh silently while talking to them. I keep thinking - damn, I actually hooked up with these people in the past. I was quite smitten with one of them, while the other was kind of my rebound guy (and I guess I was his). The latter became a good friend, but then things never got serious between us and it never will. He still keeps trying to hook up, and I just keep saying no. I don't even know why he still tries. As for the former, well, I closed that chapter a while back. Or so I thought. He started to call me again late last year, and I'm not sure why I entertained his calls. Maybe I thought we were past our past. Bad idea. I mean, how can it not be bad when I actually got a proposition from him. Not just a sexual proposition, mind you.

Him: Would you consider having a baby with me?
Me: (Falls off chair)

Well, not really, but I almost did. There's always a first time for everything, they say. This wasn't a first I thought I'd ever have.

So the lesson here is to not be friends with exes. It is never a good thing. And, yeah, to never have a fight with R again. Coz it somehow sends cosmic signals to people from my past. And that too, is not a good thing.

Labels: exes, holiday, R

Finally, the office barkada got away to relax for the weekend. To a place where locals apparently refer to as "almost heaven". And indeed it was.


Eagle Point Resort is one of the best resorts I've been to so far. It's far enough from the city. It's quaint and picturesque. Our room had a breath-taking view of the bay. How lovely it is to wake up every morning with that view. And then there's Sepoc Island. What a charming little island. And of course there's the sunset. With the best of company, everything was just right.

We ate, slept, took a dip in the water, went kayaking (while I slept, haha, in the guise of getting a tan), drank, took pictures, ate again, took pictures again, went dipping with baby sharks and fish, went to the pool...

Words are not enough to express all the loveliness and happiness. Pictures are worth a thousand words, after all, so here goes.

chill, sa aking duyan :)

postcard-worthy

Swimsuit models. Not! Hahaha!

Philippines Next Top Model, hahaha!

Pa cute :p

tabing-ilog cast, 20 years later!

Eds and George

Swimming, err, standing with the baby sharks :)

ST star, wahaha!

Labels: beach, friends, summer

Maybe it's true, after all. When something good happens, another thing has to break. So-called balance.

With the excitement on my new career endeavor, it seems that in the love front, things have taken a turn for the worst. Our relationship's on life support. And I feel both of us are just waiting for the other to pull the plug.