I have no special plans on this very long holiday, and I wanted it that way. I wanted a time to just listen to my thoughts. A lot has happened lately, and I'm still quite overwhelmed.
Well, that was the plan. It didn't happen in day 1 (as I had spent most of it sleeping and watching marathons). And day 2, I'm going to my sister's, and we'll head out together to visit my other sister up north. There's still day 3, 4 and 5, though. Lolz.
Anyways, I did get to think about my relationship with R a little bit. In all the excitement that happened the last several days, I kind of forgot that it's been a year since we got together. Wow. Truth be told, I never thought we'd get this far. Yeah, me of little faith. And yes, I did say we're struggling to keep it together. But the truth is, I'm raising ruckus more than I should, really. He's not perfect but he's faithful, and he's a good man. And a patient man. Very patient...
I guess for me it's that self-preservation thing. I always say it's easier to run than get hurt. But I realize sometimes I get all geared up to run when there's really no reason to. And yeah, I don't want this to become a self-fulfilling prophecy, so I'm dealing. And I hope he is, because I can be quite a handful. And that's an understatement. Haha.
Anyways, it always freaks me out how everytime I have a problem with R, exes of whatever kind suddenly show up. I just laugh silently while talking to them. I keep thinking - damn, I actually hooked up with these people in the past. I was quite smitten with one of them, while the other was kind of my rebound guy (and I guess I was his). The latter became a good friend, but then things never got serious between us and it never will. He still keeps trying to hook up, and I just keep saying no. I don't even know why he still tries. As for the former, well, I closed that chapter a while back. Or so I thought. He started to call me again late last year, and I'm not sure why I entertained his calls. Maybe I thought we were past our past. Bad idea. I mean, how can it not be bad when I actually got a proposition from him. Not just a sexual proposition, mind you.
Him: Would you consider having a baby with me?
Me: (Falls off chair)
Well, not really, but I almost did. There's always a first time for everything, they say. This wasn't a first I thought I'd ever have.
So the lesson here is to not be friends with exes. It is never a good thing. And, yeah, to never have a fight with R again. Coz it somehow sends cosmic signals to people from my past. And that too, is not a good thing.
Dose Me
- Petite
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- Sieggy
- Nic
- Elmer
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- Must Love Dogs
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- Yuan
- Fragmented
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Virtual Hug
Spoonful of Music
Eye Candy
always on vacation mode ;)
Vitamin F
Memory Boosters
