It's what made me watch Manny Pacquiao in his fight with Morales, even if I'm clueless about boxing. It's what made me beam with pride as I see an overpriced tsinelas carry our flag. It's what made me want to stay here, in spite of, despite of. LOVE AND PRIDE FOR MY COUNTRY.

But after an emergency meeting I had with my staff today, we got around to discussing about our national issues. One of my engineers candidly said, "Nowadays, it's hard to be proud to be a Filipino". I was taken aback and didn't really know how best to respond.

The truth is, I am this close to clamming up and go back to being apathetic. It's hard to fight for a cause, when the likes of Jinggoy, Binay, and all these people, including the former president Cory Aquino are diminishing the value of this cause, by showing up whenever one or two are gathered together, just to push their personal agenda. My technician said, the day of the EDSA anniversary, some people went around their area, to entice the residents to join the rallies, by handing a couple of hundred pesos. Paliit ng paliit na ang halaga ng dangal.

When the marine standoff happened at the Fort yesterday, these same personalities showed up to, they say, PRAY IN THE CHAPEL. I mean, pray tell, being a Catholic country, how many other chapels/churches do we have all over Manila?? Why do they love to feed on the paranoia of the people?

Our country is as divided as its 7,100 islands. The supposed unity of the opposition (or shoud I say, left and right opportunists) is nothing but a sham. And I will never support people who take every opportunity to create intrigues and provoke the mob.

But on the other hand, I despise PGMA for proclaiming 1017. For the 1st time, I felt fear (and disgust) in living in this country. And for the first time, I agreed that it's becoming hard to be proud of being Filipino. EDSA was about regaining our democracy. Isn't it a blatant disrespect for the heroes of this country, to be doing things like this?

All of a sudden, I no longer know what to do next. Maybe Jim Paredes may be onto something, after all.

Last Friday, my brother advised me not to get out of the house since his friend (whose dad is a retired military) told him of the military movement that was detected during dawn. Since I was out of the country during the Edsa 2/3 episodes in our history, I admittedly got scared. 1st, because I was alone, and 2nd, because the movement was just a few blocks away from home. I mean, I pass that way everyday.

I was already in the satellite office by the time my brother called and he advised me to immediately get back home. I dropped by the bank and got some money, gas'd up and drove back home. By then PGMA had already declared a state of emergency, as speculated earlier. Later that afternoon, things normalized, but the office barkada already cancelled our sked trip to Eurostar. Staying safe na lang, considering Fort was in red alert earlier. By night, most of the action were at the protests all over Manila.

I thought things started to simmer down. After dropping my brother at the domestic airport, I embarked on my 24 marathon the rest of the afternoon. That is why I was so suprised when I switched the channel to ABS, and saw that there were some movements again at the Fort. Whoa.

Earlier, I passed by the marine HQ, and though there were truck barricades, a checkpoint, and some military guys milling about, I had no inkling that there was something brewing. Naisip ko pa nga, galing naman ng mga marines, nag-duduyan pa dun sa labas. (Play Zanjoe's signature song - Chill here).

Hay naku. I really don't understand what these people want anymore. Potah, ang labo. Kasira ng araw. It was such a nice, sunny day pa naman kanina, I actually wanted to blog about long-ago summers and first love. Hehe. Aral na nga lang ako.

ADDENDUM:
Just received this text message. And I will reprint it here:

"APPEAL 2 Cory, MBC, Hyatt 10, Magdalo & All Opposition Members:

EDSA is heroism, so please be heroes for all suffering Filipinos, stop bringing the country down with your selfish calls for resignation. Preserve the constitution. Patience is heroism. We have enough natural calamities. We don't need manmade calamities of your doing like a hole in the head.

Please pass and continue to pray for our country & the Filipino people."

PGMA is not perfect. But I do not condone what all these people are doing. They are hurting our country even more. Tangna. And for what???

Nope, the flip-flops are not a metaphor for anything. (Like me going fishing or something, hehe). Just showing how utterly absurd this fling I have with rubber flip-flops. They are fun, nice and has potential to be long-term companions, but they are, well, overly-priced tsinelas. They not only leave my wallet dry, but my shoe collection dull as well. And that's the bad part. (I have to start wearing decent shoes again. Flip-flops are heavenly, but shoes are pretty).

So I decided it was time to bid goodbye. I'm giving away two of my Havaianas, the white Filipinas and white High, to my sister and mom, respectively. The red flipflop will go to my yaya. (I'm still keeping the rest, one cannot just quit cold turkey, after all. Harhar).

Quite surprisingly, it wasn't a hard decision at all. I guess it's comforting to know that these flip-flops are not as rare as they were some three years or so ago. (Truth is, I'm planning to replace my white Filipinas tsinelas. Harhar).

* * * * *
Speaking of goodbyes, Tatay Rudy of PBB was the first evictee. I felt sad for him. Among the three, Rico would have been my choice to go. I have nothing against him, just that he is still young and he has his whole lifetime ahead of him. Meanwhile, tatay is old and it would be nice to see him, and parents like him, live a comfortable life in their old age, di ba? That's exactly the way I feel about my parents. I mean, they worked hard to ensure we had good and decent lives growing up, and I really want to give them something back. Kahit comfort na lang. 'Coz they do not really care much for luxuries, they never have. Despite my dad's success, he has remained a simple and humble man (though he is not a perfect man, but that's not the point).

Going back to Tatay Rudy, admittedly, he was struggling to keep up with the younger lot in the house. But, as the iron man that he is, he was the epitome of resilience and persistence. Haay, it was really heartbreaking to see him shocked and speechless (in his stoic way.. haha) when he was being interviewed in the studio. To tatay and the rest of the other (good) fathers out there, MABUHAY KAYO!

Meanwhile, Mich had also permanently left the house after suffering from an anxiety attack. But not before her shouting match with Keanna, where the latter emotionally said "KFC ka kasi!". What she really meant was KSP. Hahaha. And that is why I also want Keanna to stay in the house. The house will be too sane, without her. Harhar.

And while I'm on the subject of PBB, the Cebu barkada think that a good friend might do a Sam Milby in the celebrity edition. I personally think his addition would certainly add flavor like no other. And he, being super-talented, deserves the exposure and the future opportunities that might open up. Cross fingers na lang for now ;)

(These are all my favorite pairs: White Filipinas -cure for the sadness and disgust I felt on the day of the Wowowee tragedy and I was actually wonderfully surprised to see our flag on the flip flops instead of the Brazilian flag; Pink High Look - 1st ever pair, which I bought after a fight with bestie and the Green Floral - easily made my favorite color from black to green, hehe)



And as a promise to myself, the Brasil Cup in Light Yellow or Navy Blue will be my last pair. (Hope Arlene finds it in Chandler. hehe)




* Photo borrowed from the Havaianas US website.

It's like riding a bike... as the saying goes. The last time I took up biking as a hobby was in 2000, and before that, gawd, prolly I was in high school. There just something about riding that gives you an exhiliration -- the hard work (try pedalling up to Tagaytay), the scenery on the way to the destination, and of course, the company. The biker dudes are always fun to be with, and it's refreshing to hang out with them while SOBER. Hahaha.

On the flip side, you have the outfits and accessories, the gears and the shoes to keep you excited. Speaking of gears, didn't get a chance to look at the bike shops in Cartimar yet. Bro's sked didn't match up with mine and I don't really wanna go there on my own, lest there will be a tire episode #2 (a bike shop close to home duped me into getting new tires that were not for off-road). I want to buy a gel seat (coz riding for 8 hours can really kill it for you, no double meaning intended, hehehe), disc brakes (to give me more leverage when going downhill, otherwise I'm reduced into a scaredy-cat) and new shades (because the last one was "stolen" by bro). Actually, what I really want to do is steal Van's bike. Hotness. Hahaha. But I still love Spike (my bike) coz suprisingly, he has gotten me through some rough rides. So I just wanna pimp him up a bit ;)

I'm raring to go back on the road again. Dapat ROI na ang new shoes ko, which Ali bought for P900 less. Jowell just text'd that he got his already, at 40% discount in Powerplant (where I also got mine). Life is so unfair. Hahaha. But, uniform na ito. Van and Jay, buy na kayo! :)

I was a young girl about to enter high school during EDSA. I was very grateful because my Ate and other vigilant Filipinos like her stood up against the dictatorship and eventually put a stop to the violence and unrest. They fought hard to regain democracy, so that the children like me, will have a chance for a better future in this country.

I was especially thankful because it meant never again seeing my mom cry on New Year's eve because Ate was spending the night (and a few more) in jail. Like many others, she got whisked away from the streets and thrown into jail without qualms. But unlike many others, she was one of those who got to live and fight some more.

Twenty-years later, those who fought in the streets have grown fat or thin and bald or white-haired or have passed on or left the country. The better future, nowhere in sight; our country, locked in a time warp.

Why do we commemorate EDSA, if not to finally take to heart the lessons learned then? What are we waiting for? Another twenty years?

For the sake of our children, I hope not.

(P.S. This admirable man not only fought in EDSA but also wrote a beautiful song about it. Read his thoughts here.)

In my dreams, I'll be on the Amazing Race someday. I certainly meet all the minimum criteria above save for one. Three possible partners (at least in my mind): Best Friend Riz - always been the more athletic one, our high school soccer/sprint princess and now an OB-GYN, and on the road, that can be very useful, hehe; Ex-friend/now manager - uber athletic, smart and no frills; former drinking buddy so we know we can stand each other at our worst; and Younger Sis Yen - the dedicated girl scout in the family and her looks could come in handy, hehe. And what do you know, all of them knows how to drive a stick. Harhar.

In real life of course, Riz is practicing, Yen is pregnant, and well, ex-friend is ex-friend. So there you go.

But if any of you can a) drive a stick, b) withstand my (infrequent smart-aleck) attitude and c) understand my eccentricities, I will promise to do every friggin' task required, because if there is one thing I do, it's to never quit when there's a lot at stake. Hmmm.. unless it involves swimming, coz I can't do that too :)

Argh. My cellphone charger died on me, ergo, my phone batteries (2 of them) died on me, too. Ergo, no phone. No connection to the rest of this world except the net. Car is banned today, not to mention I'm not feeling all that well after several days of staying up late to do my case. Ergo, will not be able to get a new charger today. I do hope it's the charger that's screwy and not my phone.

Please let it not be my phone.

Summer is near but still quite too far, considering I have the long overdue planning session and this school's term to hurdle. But already I'm dreaming of sand on my feet and listening to the waves splashing the beach. And what about the sunsets? Lovely.

One of my MBA barkada is asking me to chaperone her to Bora this March. They got a good deal (boat trip and Station 1 lodging with breakfast) for less than 4K, and I love Boracay so much I want to live there forever, but I already have plans to go to Cebu around the same week for my late-lolo's 100th birthday celebration (and my birthday). In fact, I already have airline tickets, all that is left is for me to let my manager know about my vacation ;) So my summer is already planned around Cebu. I will likely make one more trip, to where I still don't know. I'm not sure whether Holy Week in Palawan will push thru, or the summer getaway Aussie wants to make somewhere down South, prolly Camiguin. The confidence level of either vacation happening is 50% at best, especially the latter, considering I've not heard from Aussie for almost 2 weeks now. Funny how I've lost track but I certainly know I've heard less and less from him since he opened a Friendster account, and he started asking questions about the pictures I posted.

That is exactly the kind of thing that happens when two people are in a pseudo-relationship, otherwise known as MU (for malabong usapan, hahaha). You don't know whether you're out of line or not, so you either just totally ignore the nagging ??? or ask subtly without really succeeding at getting your point across. Either way, it sucks. So I've officially taken myself out of the MU thingy. We're friends. That's that. No special treatment, no feeling guilty about hanging out with other people. And if he wants to make it more than that, then he better be clear about his intentions. Then we take it from there.

Speaking of MU, I still couldn't quite figure out why people would want themselves in that situation. I mean dating is dating - no strings attached. But MU has strings attached, albeit loosely, so that every coward (or jerk) can make an easy exit. I guess I found myself in that situation once. Messy. So now, there's friends or lovers. There's no such thing as special friends, or whatever. It's that simple. Kiss me again or I might just slap you. Haha.

Oh, btw, the Best of Boracay contest is on. And the prizes, of course, are trips to Boracay. Coolness. Time to go through my pile and see if there's something I can grab. Maybe those sunset pictures I took almost the whole time I was there last summer will be good for something.

* photo via cnn.com

About 2,000 people from Leyte are feared dead because of a mudslide. All I can do right now is offer prayer. Sad.

This blog has come a long way since Single Pinay's musings. Ironically, I'm retiring 32 Flavors just as I'm turning, well, 32. (There. It's just a number. Nothing to fear, really :) )

Anyhoo, this is still under construction. Still have to update the links. Have not enabled commenting yet since everything's quite screwed up. I only got a few comments, anyways. Haha. (Hi Den!)

Turning the background black doesn't mean I'm tired of all the colors. (Gawd, aren't you thankful though? The previous template was making my eyes sore everytime it changed colors. Haha). In fact, it only emphasizes how life it really full of wonder and color and beauty. Because of all my loved ones and friends. And also because of a little dose of ME :) Yeah. Life is only as beautiful as we allow it to be. I no longer believe in grieving so much, or wallowing in the past. I just want to keep moving forward until I get to where I want to be.

BTW, for those who are not in the know, XY is the little nickname my mom has for me, and most of my best friends call me that ;)

So there you go. I hope to impart a little of my zest, perkiness and what-not to all of you. Here's a DOSE of X ;)

(fine print: After all that's been said, the drama queen has not yet left the house. Just so you know ;))

After the Clark Hot Air Balloon festival, we dropped by this posh subdivision along NLEX called Lakeshore which reminded me of my temporary home(s) back in the U.S. Super nice and quiet. You can bike or hike or jog, read a book under a tree, ride a water bike @ the lake or go fishing. That's life for you, dearies. P30.5K a month lang o. I wish. :)