Why is truth always hard to accept? Why do we take desperate measures to hide it or evade it? Desperation. What a sorry state to be in. One I would like to get out of. But I'm not quite sure if I would like the other options.
I used to tell myself I chose correctly. Who wouldn't want to be with the man that they love for a lifetime? But as days passed, years passed, the reality that love isn't enough keeps on hounding me. Love cannot save me. Or us.
I have been lost for so long, being lost now feels so normal. And when you see me, you wouldn't even notice. And that scares me.
Christmas is around the corner, and I'm not feeling it. And that's the thing. I want to feel it. I want to feel. I badly want to feel something again. Even anger. Not just this ugly apathy.
I want to feel again. That is my truth now. I just don't know how.
Labels: life, love, married life, musings
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