FEEL NO PAIN?
Which would you choose: ride on a train, dance in the rain or feel no pain? - The Recruit
The first answer that came to my mind, feel no pain. Ironically, people around me have been telling me I seem to have a high tolerance for pain. Maybe I'm underestimating myself. Or maybe I just have so much already, so I don't want to feel anymore pain.
But pain is part of life. Specially, my life.
The other day, I just endured one of the painful experiences I've ever gone through. I went through a major surgery, and not only is it physically painful (I was poked more than 15 times literally, not to include the actual surgery), but it took a toll on me emotionally and psychologically, maybe even physiologically.
No matter how old we get, the first thing that ever comes to mind is to be with your loved ones. Specially once you're told "It's a life threatening condition. There's a 1 in 40,000 chance that you'll die.." I so badly needed a hug. I so badly needed encouraging words. I so badly needed someone to be my side and tell me they'd never leave me. MB was there for the most part. I am still thankful for that. He was around the critical moments that I needed someone with me.
Now, I am just thankful to Him. Because I still woke up from that surgery. And maybe I did not go through it alone after all. I know He was with me. I kept asking Him to give me the strength and the courage, and to bring my family close to me even if they are miles away. I was blessed to have such a great medical team. I was told my surgeon is the best one there is, and down to my nurses, everyone just took good care of me. They still are.
And after everything that I went through, pain is not so bad after all.. And if you ask me that question again, I'd rather really dance in the rain now. I will choose to celebrate life. And second chances. I will celebrate my friends and family. And even officemates who show they are not just there when I'm productive but also when I am lying useless in a hospital bed.
I lost a part of me in that surgery. But I also gained so much enlightenment. At one point, I felt broken. But now, I'm over that feeling. The next step is pick up the pieces and slowly put them back together one by one.
And then, I'll be ready to dance in the rain.