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YOU WIN SOME, YOU LOSE SOME
Things seem to be happening all at once these days. I just got my grade for my Quanti class.. not too bad for someone who almost quit on school by the second meeting. Suffice to say, I can still become a dean's lister if I keep it up, and this subject is supposed to be the worst of the lot.. Cross fingers. As for my project at work, things are not going too well.. No decent sleep for weeks now, with problems happening one after another.. I probably get a one-day breather, then it rains again.. But we did get just get our bonus and it wasn't too bad.. Most of the money, though, will go to my enrolment fee for next term, and hopefully, a few of it will go for my car because I badly need to send it to the casa.. It's been long overdue. My friends have given me their full support, cheering me up, leading me on, reminding me of good things. But then the ugly reality reared its head again today.. and I will finally have to face that moment of reckoning that has been delayed for one reason or another for so many months now.. I should be happy but I'm not. I should cry one last time but I can't.. For now I just seem to be devoid of any feeling, perhaps my way of escaping the pain for things that cannot be, for loves that are lost but hopefully not wasted. Ultimately, I know I can survive through all these different emotions, and someday just be... normal again.. But for a while, I know I will succumb to sadness again, maybe just a little bit.. And I will wonder from time to time, the answers to the questions that I still ask but are elusive.






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