Sometimes I'm afraid to get too happy. Almost inevitably, gloom sets in as soon as the euphoria fades. It almost feels like my body is trying to tone down the endorphins by injecting err, anti-endorphins (ok, so I made this word up).
I remember an incident where I went out with my MBA barkada and we all had a blast at one of the bars in Timog. We were laughing all night, and it wasn't even a drunken gimik. We were all just really on a natural high. (Enough to have given me the courage to go up the stage and sing with the band, but that's a story I've told once before ;)). Erstwhile bestie and I were still at the peak of our "special friendship" and that just made the night even more magical. But when I woke up the following morning, I felt a certain emptiness that I couldn't quite place. All of a sudden, I missed the crazy, noisy kulitan of friends, I missed bestie's antics, and strangely, without any warning, it easily became one of my saddest mornings. And I didn't even understand it then. Soon after I received SMS messages from my friends, including bestie, telling me they just felt sad that day. I almost jumped for joy, realizing what I was going through wasn't abnormal after all.
I had a few more similar experiences after that episode. Like a whole manic-depressive cycle. So through all my euphoric state the last few days, I was already half-anctipating that dreaded morning-after feeling. During times where gloom reared it's ugly head, I always managed to slap it away.
Every attempt was succesful. Except tonight. When I realized it's been 3 months since R left. And how I miss him more each day. Time just seem to drag on and on, I can almost hear the clock tick second by second. It's driving me crazy. Crazy enough to be impulse buying anything that suits my fancy. Shopping is my new R. Haha. Anyway, my heart finally just gave in, and I started to sob. So there it was. The inevitable sigh. Or cry.
I miss R. Hard as it may be to admit, all this shopping is really about him. More precisely, about tryng to get him off my mind. But it's no use. I miss you, love. Come home na.
Dose Me
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Virtual Hug
Spoonful of Music
Eye Candy
always on vacation mode ;)
Vitamin F
Memory Boosters
