FAT TUESDAY
No flashing happened. Was home sick with some bacterial infection. Drats. At least my baby was there to take care of me. He makes me feel so safe. And happy. Gawd. I'm so content it scares me so much. I have to constantly remind myself not to run away...
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Monday night was a nightmare. I was hanging out with my baby at the apartment when E called me around midnight. He didn't even tell me he was in town. What a jerk. He called and told me he'll come over.. Just like that. I started to make an excuse. I was going back to the office. He asked me to come over his place then. I panicked so I said yes. And my baby heard every word I said. I wanted to hang myself then and there.. Anyway, I ended up calling E again and told him I can't go. But my baby was fuming mad. And I felt so utterly stupid. And confused. I thought I was over E. But I'd be dumb to jeopardize what my baby and I have because of some infatuation with a very unavailable man.
I need to think. Hard.