QUESTIONS
If you are in a committed relationship, say engagement or even marriage...
1. Is (cyber)chatting (complete with tampuhan, pa-cute, etc) with an ex just "harmless" flirtation? Or is it a segue to something "harmful"?
2. Is (cyber)chatting (or any form of communication, for that matter) with an ex, who is now a good friend, for advise, a no-no?
3. Are cybersex, phone sex, oral sex, making out or anything sexual relationship short of actual intercourse, with anyone not your SO (significant other), forms of cheating?
4. Are email, text or chat exchanges containing sweet nothings (i miss you... luv u...), calling the non-SO some terms of endearment such as dear, honey, love, or what not, again, just "harmless flirtation", if no physical relationship has yet been established?
My take? For question #3, hell yeah, even without actual consummation, any form of sexual relations/encounter is CHEATING. As for non-physical relationships or "virtual" relationships, though may start harmless at first, will eventually lead to emotional attachment, and will leave both parties vulnerable. A physical relationship is a likely next step. And then maybe even a stronger emotional relationship. And yes, having a virtual relationship is still cheating. How can you have a committed relationship with someone, and yet share your deepest secrets or intimacies with another? All communication should be focused for the betterment of your committed relationship.. Wandering elsewhere will just doom it. If not already.
So the next question is, if you find yourself in the situation where your SO is having a virtual relationship(s), would you bail or just confront your SO? What if he/she denies it? That's not an easy decision to make. If he/she has a problem communicating with you, then, that is surely a bad sign. Or he/she may just be a chronic philanderer who cannot be trusted, no matter what. In the end, I say, take care of your own heart. No matter how much you love your SO, love yourself first.