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TOKEN "ARGH. BIRTHDAY'S COMING UP" POST - FINAL PART

Published Sunday, March 19, 2006 by XY | E-mail this post

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The truth is, there wasn't going to be a final part of this post. I have no feelings whatsoever for my upcoming birthday. Not excitement, not anticipation, and not even the perennial "argh". Maybe this is a sign that this girl has indeed grown up, in ways where it matters. (And I have to qualify that since I will always be a child, in ways where it matters :))

I'm not sure exactly when it started, but I've taken to celebrating life as soon as I open my eyes in the morning. I mutter my thank you, for another day added into my now colorful life, and thank you as well, for the people who have made my life (and still making it) worth living. And in that sense, my birthday has lost its special importance. I no longer need to wait a year to celebrate life and family and friends. The prospect of drinking the night away is only mildly appealing. (That being said, I still do crave for those crazy, inhibition free parties, but not as much as before).

Still, a few more days, and I'm officially turning 32. It sounds like a big number when I say it. But I no longer flinch when I think about it. My last 32 years may not have been perfect but the stumbles and the falls only reinforced how truly loved I was, by the people whose love meant the most. I have already undergone quite a few quarter-life crisis episodes within my years, but now, I am at peace at where I am. I find no need to prove myself. Nor do I want to fit myself to the standards that others have set. (Well, I've never been a conformist, for most of my life, anyways). I've plenty of small achievements throughout those years that have made my parents proud. And while I value my work, my sense of fulfillment is now far greater than getting a hefty paycheck. While I will let ambition continue to drive me, I will never allow it to enslave me either. I'd rather climb mountains than the corporate ladder.

Arlene asked me what my birthday wish is. I said, world peace. How very beauty queenish :) She told me, she wants something attainable, maybe materialistic. (Her birthday is coming up, too. Happy birthday dearie!). Material things are easy to wish for - SUV, spanking new bike, iPod, condo makeover, more Havaianas. And while I'll be happy to get those for my birthday (hahaha, yeah right), I'll have to shoot for something even harder to get. I wish for a true love's first kiss. Sheda. Hahaha!

"Searching for a day, a simple life
Among the clouds, the sky is blue
Watch the stars falling around at night

My dream, your dream
Dreams come true,
Trying hard

Always follow what's in your heart
Always listen to what's inside
Always fly high & don't come down" - Pink Life





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