Too many words have been said between us the last couple of weeks. Admittedly, the fact that I'm getting little sleep or that I'm quite booked and stressed at work, aggravates the situation. Crankiness to the highest level.
At one point he told me he'd rather stop speaking to me than have a fight with me. Argh. Asar. How about resolving our issues? Admittedly, though, there are no easy answers to our "issues" just yet.
So for now we called a truce. He told me our fights were giving him sleepless nights, and I definitely know how that feels, so I don't wish that on him. Besides, he's oceans away from here and I know it's not easy to be away from his loved ones. And he has a lot of things on his mind as well. His Tita, who is really more of like a mom to him, had a diabetic stroke last year, and had gone into a coma, the day before he was scheduled to go back to work in the States. She eventually recovered, but she has to go thru dialysis every week.
One of my heartaches is that I'm far away from my family and that I'm not going to be there immediately if they need me. And whatever heartache I feel, I'm sure it's double or triple for him, because it's not like he can just book himself a flight at will. And just recently, he learned that the doctors may need to cut-off one of his Tita's feet due to a wound which got worse. Grabeh. So of course I feel so small for adding to his worries. We will just deal with all this relationship blues when it's time. And I guess now is not yet the time.
For now, I'll just hang on to the love we still have for each other. Hopefully it will help get us through this low point in our relationship.
P.S. Also not helping our relationship is the latest turn of events. My biz trip was pushed back to late April, and it overlaps with a trip we've planned when he comes back that month. To add to that, a side trip to visit my best friend in Cali is now less likely to happen, given my tight sked. I was tempted to say no to the biz trip because it means time less away from him during his short home leave. But then again, that is a great career opportunity for me. I thought I'm over being a career person, but I'm not. Thankfully, a compromise is highly likely. So cross fingers for that. But damn you Cebu Pacific for non-refundable tickets!
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