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Published Saturday, October 12, 2002 by XY | E-mail this post

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THE SORDID TRUTH
Sitting next to Mr. T has its disadvantages after all.. Well, today, I overheard a somewhat disheartening conversation he had with what I assumed to be a very good friend of his over the phone. Ok, I did say that he tends to talk very loudly, so much so that people who are several poles away from him can still hear his voice. So, for the record, I wasn't eavesdropping. *sheepish grin*

Anyway, I found out that he is dating, after all. Or was. Apparently, they are totally opposites, and the girl freaked him out because she brought him home to her parents way too quick. I couldn't tell if he felt bad that it didn't work out and all, since he was mostly laughing it off. Not that it matters.

Since he is mostly very brusque, I never took it personally that the he barely engages in small talk with me. You know, given that we are just a wall apart. I got the vibe that he is either shy around women or just plain, well, a snob. Actually, I did confirm that with his manager. In one of our 1on1 meetings, I unintentionally raised the concern that I was having difficulty approaching Mr T, and my tendency is to avoid him at all costs if I needed some clarification or information that somebody else from his team may be able to provide. Mr. T is one of those guys who make you feel uneasy everytime you talk to them, afraid that they think you're just wasting their time. And Mr. M, his manager, did confirm, that Mr. T does have a history of not having a very good working relationship with women. Apparently, Mr. T himself admits that "women hate him". But we all know that I don't. I actually find his brusqueness cute and amusing. That's why it was never really a work concern for me, but somehow, in the length of my meeting with Mr. M, that just came up.

But I digress. Like I said, I never took Mr. T's treatment of me very personally. Until today.

Not that I assumed he also liked me. But in my mind, not knowing whether he did or did not, actually gave me something to hope for. Like everyone else, I'm also scared of rejection, and more so if there is a finality to it. In fact, I was secretly wishing he was gay, because at least that just meant he just had other interests, not necessarily because he didn't find me attractive enough..

I've met Mr. T several years ago, and didn't really develop a "crush" on him until now and that was mainly because I was very much in love then. But lately, I began to notice he was kinda cute, and in his unique way, funny. And the rare times we interact, he manages to tease me and I took that as a sign that we may actually get along. In time. But then again, he calls me Ma'm. I would have known that wasn't a good sign.

Of course, knowing that he was dating someone just confirmed that he is not interested in me. And his mostly dismissive, if not, snobbish, treatment of me, means just that. Too bad.





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