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LATE NIGHT CONVERSATION
Another restless night. Had a late conversation with you, good friend, you. :) Key takeaway messages::

"You should really try not to fall in love so easily..."
"Kala ko pa naman you handle loneliness so well..."
"Think about it 100x times if you have too!!"
"Do you think you'll be happy there??"
"Safe yun, basta dami lang water..." :P
"I just wanna drink and get wasted.." amen to that
"I wanna walk with sand under my feet" always!! galera tayo or boracay! malaspascua, bohol..
"I wanna make love on the beach" hehehehe

Ay, di pala kasali yung last.. lol.. Anyhoo... I guess, under the cloak of darkness, one is really able to let out the deepest thoughts and feelings, even if it's painful to do so. I told a lot of people that I've accepted that I'm going to be single for life, after failing repeatedly.. But at the end of the day, like most normal people, I need love... the kind that makes you wanna live... breathe and feel too much...

I've been feeling lonely lately.. that's why I daydream of home and the beach too much.. And it's scary because I just wanna pack up and start over. Leave everything behind because I may not be able to stand all this.. emptiness. I miss my family so much.. I miss talking to my sister and brother till the dawn breaks.. I miss eating in a table for six... and with actual people sitting on all the chairs.. And yeah, I miss him.. Or maybe it's the idea of a "him"... Because the truth is, my picture of him has become so blurry I could not really tell anymore if he was ever real or not.. My head keeps telling me he was just a figment of my imagination.. And my heart could not comprehend that... Stupid foolish heart, eh..

And I'm weird because the more lonely I feel, the more I shun away people. I've been ignoring invites to go out. I've completely alienated this sweet sweet guy who stood by me, and patiently waited by the sidelines.. Maybe I'm just scared.. Or stubborn. Or both. I dunno. I just don't know anymore.

Haay, I've better things to worry about. Some people would say loneliness is just a state of mind. But today, is yet another day that I'm succumbing to this ... haplessness. Nyeta. Baby (daw oh!! hehe)!! Schedule na natin "kape" session natin, k? :)






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