ON WHY I STILL LOVE THIS COUNTRY
Back in college, while kids my age were already talking about moving out of the country to look for greener pastures, I was busy being idealistic, being patriotic in my own college kid way. Such idealism almost cost me my degree and my honors but it was all worth it. I love this country with all my heart. Not only because I was born here. If I had been given a choice, I'd still want to become Filipino. I have worked with different cultures, and though there are a lot of things to be said about Filipino culture, it is by far, one of the best that I love. Ok, I admit, I loved Costa Rica, and in the back of my mind, I feel that I belong there, but when asked why, I would always say, "eh, parang Pinas din dun eh!"..
Anyhoo, I won't be hypocritical to say I've never even thought about moving to the U.S. I have had a taste of what a good government is like, and seen how, when taxes are used as per their purpose, a country can really move forward. Specially lately when I'm already starting to feel the impact of gasoline prices and toll fee increases, when I didn't use to. Ironically, I'm making more money now than I did 3 or 4 years ago. And if I'm making more money, and yet everyday it seems more and more difficult to cope with all my living expenses, it only means that something is not quite right. So lately I've been entertaining thoughts about trying my luck in the States. Half of me is convinced it's the practical thing to do. But my heart, well, it belongs here. How can I want to leave this place? All I ever dream of when I'm in the U.S. is to feel sand under my feet, see long stretches of white sand beaches, to feel the sun slightly burn my skin, every single day.. The novelty of snow has since faded away, and I'd rather sweat than freeze to death. This land is my birthright, while there, I am just a second-class citizen, being looked down by some people because of the color of my skin. This is where my family is, where my parents taught me sound values. And I love that I can be eighteen and have the freedom to be my own person, without necessarily earning the right to disrespect the two loving people who have brought me up, clothed and fed me.
On a much lighter note, I love that I can go out at night and party till whenever, with real friends, and not just drinking buddies.. I love that I can eat tapsilog after a drinking session. Like now........ Just came back from going out with friends.. We hung out in Chef and Brewer, then at 90 Proof.. and suddenly it's 3AM and we are still happily bantering away and not have to worry about political correctness or cultural booboos... I love that here I can just be myself. Because this is ... HOME..
I don't know what the plight of our country will be in the (near) future. I still think I don't wanna have children until I will know for sure I can raise them safely and I am able to give them a decent life. But in the meantime, I will try my best to help this country in whatever small way I can. I don't need to join rallies and revolutions (ok, maybe, if it comes down to that)... But I can be a good citizen and start by exercising my rights.. Which of course, includes my right to vote. No matter what happens, at least, I will know, I've done something to help this country, my country.
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