SOME EMOTIONS ARE DIFFICULT TO DESCRIBE
Yesterday I got the call I've been waiting for for two weeks now. This is it, I thought, so I frantically text'd a couple of friends to accompany me to what will now be forever in my mind, a god-awful place. Neither of them were available, I had no choice but to go there alone. So I called my brother, because I really felt so scared and alone, and I needed to just be with someone. He doesn't even know it, but he gave me strength through the whole drive because I was literally shaking. I got lost on my way there, too.. And I was beginning to panic because I knew I could not return any other time. Yesterday was the day.
I finally got there, and got hold of the thing, which I could not bare to hold or open.. As I was driving back home, I gave in to a sob that was welling up inside, for all the pain, sadness, frustration, disappointment, and resignation. If this is so right, then why does it feel so wrong? If this is what I wanted all along, then how come I'm not crying for joy instead?
There are some things that will put a finality to a failed relationship, but it does not force our hearts to let go of someone we love.