I'm still madly, passionately in love.
Damn it. I don't want anything less. Even if it means having a somewhat rocky relationship.
The thought of having a stable relationship with someone I don't love that way scares the hell out of me.
And maybe I'm not normal that way. Then again, I never thought of myself as normal.
So there.
I didn't want to blog about R anymore. But he's been such a huge part of my life the past year, in spite of the fact that we were oceans apart for the most part, and there is one simple truth. I love him.
Enough to forgive all his mistakes and what-nots, and overcoming all the feelings of hurt and betrayal. Well, I'm only human, and Lord knows how much I struggle to move past the hurt. Thankfully, he didn't do anything totally unforgivable. And I just hope that he will make good his promise to replace all the bad memories with good ones. He said things will be better from now on.
So far so good. But with only two more weeks until he sets off again, we will once again be back to the original dilemna. Or at least, I will be. Do I really want to be in a long-distance relationship?
This time I won't be running to old lovers just to escape from the problems I have to deal with. Not that I did this time around. Though I tried. And failed. Haha. Which is a good thing. Thank God for interventions :p
I have to once again, face myself in the mirror, and know what I really want. Get connected with my truth. That is apparently one principle for happiness.
And here's another truth. It's amazing how so many of us can settle for so much less than we deserve, in the name of love.
I'm back. Happy new year everyone!
Whew. The last couple of weeks was quite eventful, to say the least. Had a great time with my family. My 5-month old niece is just the most adorable baby, ever! She has this nice curly strand of hair, the heartiest laughter and the cutest pair of dimples! I already miss her sobra. Managed to have a nice dinner with my high school barkada at Spice Fusion in BTC. And if you guys ever go to Cebu, do check out that resto. Super yum! (That is, if you like Malaysian/Singaporean/Thai fare, which I do :)).. Rollercoaster ride with R, figuratively, of course. Sigh. Lots of time at the beach. Including Malapascua :) Alavet! :) Watched Juday's movie and in my opinion, it's overrated. But I must admit medyo laugh trip. I had to ask myself though, can other women really forgive a cheating husband?? A cheating boyfriend, yes pa. Although, still situational... I realized that sunsets are so sad. But a rainy day, sadder. Sunrises are worth waking up early for! Our house near the city has this view of a fishpond (kunwaring lake, hahaha!), and the early morning view is just spectacular!
I love Callalily's Destination XYZ album. Of course, I had a more than enough time to reflect on what I'm going to do in '07. And so far, no change in plans ;)
As for my new year's resolutions, here are a few:
1. Put my new pink boxing gloves to use.
2. Go back to the gym. (Sirang plaka, I know. But I must do this. I can do this!)
3. Complete my Q2 strategies by Feb.
4. No more fights with R. We're back to being friends now. That's whats best for us, right now.
5. No more havaianas (at least in Q1, haha, tawad!). And save!!
Kampai!