EVEN BACK THEN I WAS ALREADY A DRAMA QUEEN
I was looking for my old school receipts so I can process my reimbursement, and I came across a letter (I guess I never got to send) to an old boyfriend (the guy who just got married)... Even then, I was already a drama queen. And even then, I had always wanted to run away when things started to get deep.. I don't know why I do that. I don't remember any trauma that might cause me to pursue self-preservation rather than happiness... But yeah, I was already like that.. I think I still am.. Gawd, I think I'm going to need therapy really soon.. :p
Here are some excerpts..
"... they (my friends) don't have much faith in long distance relationships either. It makes me want to regret allowing myself to love you as well as wanting to be loved by you... I feel I should not have let this come this far.. But someone once told me this:: WE OURSELVES SHALL BE LOVED FOR A WHILE, AND A WHILE FORGOTTEN.. SPEED PASSIONS EBB, AS WE GREET ITS FLOW. TO HAVE, TO HOLD AND IN TIME LET GO!...
In the end, I felt we needed to slow down, to be apart.. We needed to go back to earth again because I was beginning to lose my rationality... I panicked.. I had to go away.. I'm sorry.. "
Aysus. In fairness. Kahit pala nung bata pa ako, I was like this na.
Really though, this time I learned my lessons.. on taking risks, perseverance and tolerance.. And even patience. But maybe I'm taking it a bit too far. Trying to correct the sins of the past. But then again, maybe it's worth it.
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