I GO RUNNING HOME
"People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears
And they don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around" - The Warrior is a Child
Sometimes I wake up crying... or fall asleep weeping.. Like an unexpected assailant, memories start flashing before me, at any point during the day.. tears just start streaming down my cheeks.. And I never want to tell anyone about this. Not even blog about it. If I weren't feeling too much of that pain tonight. It feels so fresh and raw once more -- the emotional abuse from my very own Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the physical pain and trauma from my laparotomy, the psychological distress of losing something part of me and the thought that I may never feel whole ever again... all these things while I try to manage a team, manage my project, and the rest of my life. How I wish there is a shortcut to healing. If you see one, pls. tell me about it. Because, you know, I want to start 2004 with afresh and not feel so broken anymore. I want to make sure I don't allow things to fall through the cracks again. No more bouts of depression. No more of the ugliness I feel inside. And yes, I know, it's all up to me. And of course, strong guidance from up above. Without Him, I think I would have long gone fishing. Somewhere tranquil and pain-free. But He keeps giving me strength to go on. And with the help of those who love me and keep egging me on, I'm still here. Alive. Battered but alive.
And in a few hours, I'm running to my other home. Yey.
Dose Me
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Virtual Hug
Spoonful of Music
Eye Candy
always on vacation mode ;)
Vitamin F
Memory Boosters
