Life can be ecstatic, exciting and extraordinary... if you make it to be.

« Home

LOVE'S A BITCH Ain't it so? :) And that's exactly ... »YIPEY, SCHOOL IS FINALLY, FINALLY OVER Well, this ... »TIME TO WAVE GOODBYE NOW.. "All the world just s... »IT'S BEEN QUITE A WHILE... Since I've gone shoppin... »MORE ABOUT LOVE Jann is one of my favorite writers... »ON WHY I STILL LOVE THIS COUNTRY Back in college, ... »LATE NIGHT CONVERSATION Another restless night. Ha... »I DAYDREAM ABOUT IT, HE LIVES IT :) I was kinda fe... »SAVED BY THE BELL!! Yet, another thing to be thank... »HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! Well, not yet too late.. Righ... » 

Published Monday, December 08, 2003 by XY | E-mail this post

E-mail this post



Remember me (?)



All personal information that you provide here will be governed by the Privacy Policy of Blogger.com. More...


EVERYTHING WILL COME AROUND... IN TIME...
"Your vision of romance is cruel and all along I played the fool
All your expectations bury me...
But you take my words and twist them 'round
Til I'm the one who brings you down
Make me feel like I'm the one to blame for all of this..." - Perfect Girl by Sarah McLachlan

I've been feeling pain in my lower left abdomen since this morning.. Have taken a look at it and see if it's bruised, but I can see no outward signs of a wound or something.. By the time I was driving back home today, I can still feel the pain... And I wondered if it has something to do with my surgery.. Wow, that was five months ago already.. Time flies so fast indeed. Except for the scar that reminds me once in a while of that incident, I've not thought about that for a long while.. Till now. Brings back some painful memories. And yet, I'm thankful that I decided to go to the ER when I did. I was already hemorrhaging internally, and in critical condition. I'm thankful for my second shot a life, and for not dying on my family like that. I shudder at the thought had I continued to ignore the pain for one more day. And the thoughts bring me back to the present. My scar is almost healed.. Except for ocassional pain, I feel good as new. But today this pain is sending me another message. That I'd never wanna end my day with painful thoughts in my head, or without letting my loved ones know I love them. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, right? I want to end each day with a happy note.. So that if I should suddenly go, and if my family comes across my blog, they will know I went away thinking about their love for me.. And happy because of that...

I was on the verge of a relapse again today, because today would have been our 8th monthsary. And my thoughts started going back to everything that transpired the last few months.. Then I had to stop myself. I cannot keep torturing myself like this. I will have to learn to protect myself from the pain... and one of my good friends couldn't have said it better::

"Yes, time will heal those wounds but it will take a longer time if you allow the wounds to be bumped, burned and pierced while in the process of healing... you must protect yourself from yourself... minsan ikaw na ang sumusugat sa sugat mong di pa gumagaling... Trust me, after you let yourself heal properly and completely, you'll see a scar that will serve as a reminder of the lessons learned - and not of the pain you felt. "





Dose Me

Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com