Dose of X: OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN

Life can be ecstatic, exciting and extraordinary... if you make it to be.

OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN

Published Thursday, March 30, 2006 by XY | E-mail this post

Dear Shark,
I have a bad case of vacation hangover. Much as I didn't intend it, Summer Love (Rewind) got to me. I have a feeling I couldn't quite place. Longing? Regret? Hope? Sadness?

Remembering our youth and young loves is a tricky thing. Bittersweet, if you may. Everything was so simple at 16. Someone likes you, you like him back. You hold hands, you laugh together, and you try with all your might to keep it going. But at 32, love does not only seem so unattainable but also complicated.

Is he good enough? Am I good enough? Does it matter what job he holds? Or if he is not that eloquent or does not have interests that matter to you? Does our families like us for each other? Will we be able to face a lifelong journey of togetherness or partnership? Or will we end up as another statistic?

Or am I wrong and it's really just all about that elusive spark? Isn't having that connection already hard enough?

At 32, you think more than you feel. And that's the way it's supposed to be. Our life, after all, is the sum of the decisions that we make. If we use our heart too much, we might end up getting hurt. Or worse, end up hurting other people. If we use our mind too much, we might never be able to choose at all or love freely. They key is to strike a balance. But even that is harder than it sounds.

In the end, this brush with summer love is nothing but a mirage. Sad and jaded as it sounds, that's the only logical conclusion I can make, in this gloomy, rainy day.

Tired of thinking,
X