What was supposed to be a joyous triple 7 occasion for my niece's first birthday turned out to be our very own Brothers and Sisters episode. (Anorexia aside, the closest to reel life I get is Calista's character).

The birthday celeb itself was fine. My sister has been preparing for this but there were still lots of things to be closed on during the day itself. We were doing decorations and finalizing the games. She opted not to get a clown, which I think was a good idea. Personally, I'm not a big fan of the oddly made up guys. They scare me, to be blunt about it.

Anyways, it was a success and finally, the day was over. We went home almost midnight, exhausted but happy. Even our baby slept late in spite of not getting much sleep during the daytime. She knew that the day was for her. It's happiness unparalleled to see the happy face of a child.

Sunday I decided to treat my cousins who helped out to a movie. My sister backed out at the last minute, wanting to get some rest instead. But before we left, I talked to her about her long-time feud with our dad. No need for details here, but suffice to say they have not been speaking to each other for a while.

I, of course, cannot take sides. While I'm very sympathetic to my sis, my father is my father and he is who he is. Hating him will not change him. And he is old. I don't want him to feel hatred from his children in his last few days here on earth, no matter that he probably deserves it. I wish that some miracle will still transform him, but I've been wishing for that for quite some time now, and no such miracle came. And that's why in spite of my heart telling me to go back home, I just can't. If I wanted to continue loving and respecting my parents, I have to keep my distance.

So anyways, I dunno what it was that triggered it, but while we were away in the movies, my sister and her family decided to pack and leave the family house. Layas kung layas. I was trying to hold back my anger and tears while at the mall. She left without telling anyone, and I was hurt and disappointed, not to mention apprehensive at how it would affect my parents. My dad started texting us to come home because he was feeling ill and said that he might be dying (now you know where I got the drama queen gene from). My mom was hysterical when we got there. Like all moms, she took it personally. I toughly told her to stop being a drama queen and see it as it is - a daughter who did something irrational. It was not about her. Maybe it was about my dad, but definitely not about her. My anger towards my sister doubled every minute, and I told her we should stop texting each other before I say anything that will hurt her. Personally, the thing that irked me most was that I went home for her, specifically for her daughter. I had to work on getting time off, even if don't have official leave credits yet. And this was what I got. She walked away. And more importantly, the past years, we have become best friends, and I was saddened that she didn’t even talk to me about this. I wouldn't have stop her from leaving. I mean, how can I? I left home right after graduation to keep my sanity. Our parents can drive us insane, I know, but there was a better way. Saying goodbye to our faces, for one.

So, that is the story of how I stopped talking to my sister. I know I will forgive her someday, but right now, I need to overcome this pain that she caused. And it pains me more to feel it for someone I love very much. It always hurts to feel anger towards someone you love. That must be the worst kind of pain.

Labels: family, vacation

The training has been a real eye opener for me. I always thought it was an easy job to be an agent. Definitely not here in the New Blue. There are around 60 tools for the job that you need to get familiar with, around 20 of those you use on a regular basis. Multi-tasking is a very important skill - try having 3 or four windows in your monitor while typing your logs, while talking to your customer and minimize dead air, or worse, trying to pacify an irate one.

I feel so great because not only have I overcome my fear of taking calls, but this was definitely a great addition to my portfolio here in the New Blue having come from a different industry.

Anyways, now I'm left with a really bad case of jet lag now that I'm back to day shift. My shift ended at 3AM last Friday (or Saturday), and we went out to celebrate and I was home by 730AM. So yeah, I slept most of my Saturday away. Woke up Sunday around 5AM, and I tried to stay awake while doing chores and stuff. Just as I was about to leave to go do my grocery, I was overcome with drowsiness I couldn't ignore. So I said, yeah, I was gonna take a power nap. Power nap lasted for 7 hrs. I was awake Monday until 1AM, tried to sleep, and was awake again by 430AM. Now it's 3AM on a Tuesday, and yes, I'm very much awake.

I paid a big price for my certification but I'm mighty proud to have done so. Now it's back to work for me, and some sunshine at that. Haha.

In a totally different note, R will be home in exactly a month from now. I can't wait.

And speaking of can't wait, same goes for this coming weekend. I'll be off to my niece's 1st bday. I miss her so much and miss being home.

Labels: new blue, R