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MORNING PAUSE


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I’m taking a short pause. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Aussie finally surfaced. He had been calling me at my old number. So yeah, he didn’t get the new one obviously. I know I gave it to him a while back. Anyhoo, I’m just really glad that he’s ok. We talked for a little bit, and we were laughing. But after we put down the phone, damn, tears started to fall. I don’t know why I started crying. It must be the time of the month. Maybe I was sad. Maybe I felt guilty as Van said. Maybe I just miss him. I really don’t know.

He still doesn’t know if he can make time to meet me tonight. I’m thinking if I don’t see him, then that’s really the way it was supposed to be. We have been talking about his visit for so long, and yet things still got screwed up, right? That’s fate winning, right? If I do see him, I’d give him that hug I forgot to give him when he first left. Goodbyes are so much sadder when you can’t even say to the person who’s leaving that he means a lot to you. And no matter what happens in the future, I just want him to know that.






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