I had another petty fight with R and now I'm so infuriarated I can't sleep. On a serious note, I think things between us has been really painful lately - in that we both know that we should be ending this, but are too afraid to let go. And so instead we're awaiting its death slowly and more painfully by the minute. On a lighter note, I'd rather answer this survey I swiped from Jay's multiply rather than blog about my relationship woes.

1. Talked to a boy/girl you like? Yeah, and he told me he liked to listen to my laughter so much he wants to record it and make it his ringtone. Aliw!
2. Learned anything new? Yeah but I won't tell ;)
3. Talked to an ex? Not in a long time, thank goodness
4. Miss someone? Yes and No. I miss R, but in a way I'm also glad he has gone back home..

the last person who...
5. Laid in your bed? R
6. Made you cry? R
7. You went to the movies with? my nephew (The Simpsons)
8. mall with? R
9. Who Made you laugh? R
10. Said they love you? R

General Stuff
11. Favorite location? the beach (where I was last weekend)
12. What are you most scared of? death of my loved ones
13. Will you ever get married? I want to say yes...
14. Does anyone like you? The one who likes to hear my laughter. Haha
15. Do you like being around people? Most of the time
16. Have you cried recently? Yeah
17. Are you lonely right now? No
18. Song stuck in your head ? "I'm way too cool for you, boy, that's why it will never work. I'll have you suicidal, suicidal, when I say it's over"
20. Ever liked someone who treated you like crap? my very own Ylmaz!
21. What color shirt do you have right now? gray
22. Name three things that you are doing
Listening to music, blogging, downloading music
23. How much cash do you have on you right now? not sure, I went shopping yesterday.. probably around 2k na lang
24. Are you bored? Not really. But I can't sleep and it's way past bedtime!
25. Whats your favorite show? Heroes, super dami!
26. Who got you to join Friendster? An ex
27. Wish someone was next to you in the morning when you wake up? It feels nice when I wake up with his arms still around me...
28. What web site do you visit the most? lately, multiply, to download some music. hehe..
29. Do you have plants in your room? Nope but I have a live one in my kitchen (given to us by our office, and I don't know what to do with it!)
30. Who was the last person to hug you? R

21 SECRETS
1. WHAT IS YOUR SHOUTOUT ABOUT? missing R (quoting Cristina Yang from Grey's Anatomy)
2. WHERE WAS YOUR DEFAULT PICTURE TAKEN? In Friendster - Something Fishy; In Multiply - Eagle Point Resort:)
3. WHAT IS YOUR MUSIC/VIDEOS ABOUT? lots of different genre
4. HONESTLY, IF SOMEONE WERE TO TELL YOU HOW THEY FELT, WOULD YOU LISTEN? Yup!
5. WHATS YOUR CURRENT MOOD? Uneasy and unsure
6. WHATS YOUR MOST VALUED POSSESSION? my car, sark (I don't consider people my possessions :))
8. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, AND CHANGE SOMETHING WOULD YOU? Yes! haha. I have no regrets, but if given a chance, I'd want to erase my memories of my "Ylmaz"
9. IF YOU MUST BE AN ANIMAL FOR ONE DAY, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? I used to want to be a bird, but now I want to be a fish, because I couldn't swim to save my life, so maybe after then, it will come naturally :)
10. EVER HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE? Yeah (at least the surgeon told me I had 30% chance of dying)
11. WHATS THE NAME OF THE SONG THATS STUCK IN YOUR HEAD? Beautiful Girls
12.WHO DID YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS FROM? Jay's multiply nga eh
13. HAVE YOU EVER SANG IN FRONT OF A LARGE AUDIENCE? Yeah, lots of times :p Kapal din mukha ko minsan eh. hahaha!
14. WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX OR SAME SEX? fingers
16. DO YOU STILL WATCH KIDDY MOVIES OR TV SHOW? I love watching all variations of Power Rangers reruns
19. DO YOU SPEAK ANY OTHER LANGUAGE? nope
20. IS THERE SOMEONE ON YOUR MIND NOW? R
21. WHAT HURTS YOU RIGHT NOW? To be in love with someone who ain't right for me :(

Labels: R, survey

It's been a while since I last updated. Life has a way of taking you away from your blog sometimes. Hehe.

The pace at work has increased exponentially, what with the launch coming up in less than a month. As our Fil-Am program manager (who I didn't realize spoke Tagalog) quipped in our 1st 1on1 - "Ngarag ba?" Yeah, ngarag super :)

R came home earlier this week, and I managed to get a short time off to spend time with him before we went back home. Things are still ok between us, but as I always say, it could be better. And yayness, I got my D80! Yahoo. All I need to do now is figure out how to use the gadem thing. Hahaha.

I still haven't spoken to my sis since our brothers and sisters episode. Well, in the right time, we will. Sometime after that incident, my parents got into a really bad accident (as in the car was totalled), but thank God they are alright. My mom's arm in on a cast, but they are otherwise ok. Haay, it's so hard to be away from home sometimes. I almost dread it everytime I get a call from them (fearing bad news all the time).




That's what R doesn't get sometimes (or at least I think so). How being away from each other makes me praning so much that it takes a huge toll on me. And it doesn't help that I look around me and there are some people I could like if I wanted to. There's this guy at work -- we sort of have this "tension" that people around us are starting to notice. I don't put meaning to it, but it's nice to feel kilig when someone makes pa cute, and all that banter helps make our dreary days feel a little bit more interesting. Haha. My original crush on the other hand is still working days, so I hardly get a glimpse of him. But he still wins the cutest boy alert, hands down. Hahaha!

I had my second maginoo encounter at work. Another stranger offered to help me carry my things. We were on the elevator on the way down and he took my laptop bag and he carried it for me. I was on my way to do a talk for the new-hires, and nice surprise, he was in the class (also kinda cute). Hahahaha. I feel like I'm in high school. Daming crush!

I'm still enjoying this new life of mine. Things are not always easy (super long days, always having to shift work sked), but it's also not as hard as I thought it would be. And I love living in the city - traffic aside. I got to rearrange my home again because I actually live here now instead of a boarding house somewhere.... I still plan to change some furniture and appliances, but unfortch, those take a little more effort than I could handle right now.

I'm still thinking of getting a new notebook. Este, portable. Haha. Inside joke. There's a Globe broadband package that allows you to get one at a decent price. The catch - the processor is from the competitor. Plus, I still want that Pink Flamingo Dell portable (which is apparently a big big hit in the states). Wahaha. How so girly girl of me. So maybe this one would have to wait it out a bit.

I'm so tamad to go out nowadays. I'd much rather stay home and read, or watch movies/TV. Or SLEEP. Hahaha. I don't get enough of it during weekdays so weekends I have a sleeping fiesta. :) And speaking of reading, I finished HP Book 7 in 1.5 days. It wasn't as action packed as I liked. And the twist was kind of predictable. No one important died. So, it was kinda anti-climactic for me. But, it's still Harry Potter, so I still love it and don't mind adding it to my collection.

And speaking of collections, I'm happy to say I'm not as addicted to Havis as I used to be. This year, I only have ~5 new pairs so far? One of them a gift pa from Aussie boy :) Though I did succumb to this pink metallic ones last weekend coz I miss the smell of a new pair. Hahaha! But, while Havi addiction is winding down, my passion for shoes have been rekindled, and there are weeks that I buy not just one pair. I bought this new white platforms last weekend, and my favorite of late is the red patent platforms I usually wear with my white/black corporate outfit :) I almost went and bought this pair of mustard wedges, but I managed to stop myself knowing it would be a pair that will most likely sit it out in the closet. I gave myself a thumbs up sign for not making the purchase, but I have been dreaming about the shoes almost every night (or day, in our world). Hehe. Howell, in time I will learn to let go.

I wish letting go was something they teach you in school. I'd sign up for it in a heartbeat.

Labels: mundane, R, work. letting go