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Published Wednesday, January 18, 2006 by XY | E-mail this post

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“As people our job is to become who we are. I would like to salute the men and women who brave ostracism, alienation and a life lived on the margins to become who they really are.” This is a quote from one of my favorite TV actresses, Felicity Huffman who plays Lynette in Desperate Housewives (also one of my favorite TV series). This is an excerpt of her speech after winning the Golden Globe Best Actress Award for her role as a pre-op transsexual in Transamerica. I have not yet seen the movie, but I cannot wait until its play date here at home. I want to watch it not because it tackles a controversial theme, but I love films that can evoke reflection and encourages the viewers to think beyond their prejudices, and be more accepting of the differences we see all around us. As someone who grew up in a liberated environment (a.k.a, UP education), as someone who has seen a few parts of the world in different angles and as someone who has lived multiple lives in this lifetime, I have made it a personal mantra to reduce, if not, diminish the bigots in this world. I believe that we are all entitled to live our lives the way we choose, with the fine print, of course, that we shall do it without deliberately hurting anyone else in the process. In the end, we can only be happy if we are true to who we really are. And no one should ever judge us for that.

 

This reminds me of another poignant movie I saw recently. I first heard of this last Cinemanila ’04 but never got to watch it. I was ecstatic to find out the movie was being shown in local theatres again, after it made its US debut in the cinemas last year. I’m talking about Beautiful Boxer, which is based on a true story of Parinya Charoenphol, also fondly known as Nong Toom, the famed lady boy (kathoey) Thai kickboxing champion in the late ‘90s. Nong Toom took up kickboxing initially to bring his family out of poverty, which is something we Filipinos understand. (Segue to our beloved PacMan, who is fighting a big fight next week… Good luck!). Eventually, he saw kickboxing as a means to finally achieve what he wanted all his life – to become a woman. And the story evolves around his struggles as a boy who was bullied because of his effeminate ways, to a young man who fought fiercely in the ring in order to get his family out of poverty, to a woman trapped in a boxer’s body until his sex reassignment surgery. One of the most moving scenes was when he was being seduced by a Japanese woman after winning a fight because she did not believe that Nong Toom was really a transvestite. And as the woman removed her clothes in front of him, all he could do is watch longingly at a body that he wishes was his.

 

In life, there are things that we want so badly but we may never have. A man we love with all our hearts, but who loves someone else. A baby who might never be born. A way out of the married life that we have come to loathe. A husband who will love us till death do us part. A wife who is loving and accepting but not blind to our faults. Nong Toom was one of the lucky ones. He got what he wanted because he stayed true to himself. Or should I say, herself. But her physical change was only the beginning. Her journey continues on.

 

And for the rest of us are NOT YET as lucky, we can only keep on hoping that someday we will get our hearts’ desires J

 

 





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