Was a little down last night, after having another life/career talk with some officemates . Here is one ugly truth. I.am.tired. Very tired, in fact. Of the rat race. Sucky compensation (vs time spent working). I could go on, but I won't. Ranting will achieve nothing.
I'm beginning to think I'm not as brave as I think I am. Or maybe, it's because I've done my share of fighting in this lifetime, that all I wanna do right now is stand still.
Of course, Santiago is telling me another thing. I've just finished reading "The Alchemist" last weekend. "The world's greatest lie is that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.."
And there are times that I wish I can go on believing that lie. Times when I am reduced to emotions vs logic. Times when I randomly interpret events as signs, to fit what I really wanted to do, anyways. Or to believe in. Times like last week. The sad thing is, there was no remorse. Or guilt, for that matter.
It's a scary thing. To realize that.
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always on vacation mode ;)
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