My best friend tells me something I already know.

But there are things I know about my heart:

1. It's very stubborn.
2. It can be weak.
3. More often than not, it wins over my head.

I know, a few more days and I'll be ok again. Better to get hurt now, big time, rather than carry on, and deal with a little bit of pain in between several moments of happiness. Coz not everything is about happiness. Specially not your own. Specially when it's at the expense of others.

Someday, there will be happiness that doesn't come with a price.

Labels: heartache, relationships

* Guess that's why I'm so forgiving of D. But this time, I am more determined to stick to my resolve.

* I was going through my medical files yesterday so I can show them to my best friend, Doc R. As I was reading through them, I started sobbing. I relived all the pain, fear and loneliness during the days before and after my surgery. These episodes are getting fewer, but I hope one day it will just stop.

* The more I think about it, the more I think I'm not taking the U.S. assignment. I watched Jersey Girl last night. It's like choosing a life in the city, and back in Jersey. In New York, Ollie will have a high-paying job, get more respect, live in a posh apartment. In Jersey, he can play in the dirt with his kid. It took him a while but he finally chose the latter. That is a metaphor for my life in Manila. Not that I wanna play in the dirt. But I wanna be here where my loved ones are. No amount of money or prestige can ever compensate for moments spent with those you love and who love you in return.

* Shrek 2 is hilarious. But I like the 1st one better. Still, I wanna own a DVD copy. Puss N Boots is adorable. Made me wanna get a cat. Not. Hehe. Pinnochio wearing a bright pink thong? Classic. :D

* Gonuts is so overrated. The long lines is absolutely not worth it. Krispy Kremes forever.

* Advil is the best invention ever. Next to that, the G-string panty liners..

* Gerry's Grill in Remedios Circle is so cramped. But never make a mistake of tranferring to Fusion, the bar next door. P*na. They only have about 10 choices for appetizers. Plus, ang mahal ng pagkain nila. P240 for sisig?! But admittedly, I liked their music. Plus SML is only P35. But still, I really would rather not spend P90 on potato chips.

* I love my friends. 18 years of friendship is just not something ordinary.

* Ang sarap when you have doctors as best friends. Free consultation. The other night, they were lecturing to me about The Pill. Nakakatawa. Felt like a teenager. Pero mas natawa sila when I asked "Do you need a prescription to buy them?" No, I wasn't kidding.

* Guess Coron will have to be planned for some other time. But I'll be going to Bora in a couple of weeks. Sana di bumagyo. Please, weather gods.

* The storms Dindo and Enteng are not good for my mood. Been really pensive and very senti last week. Tama na! Ibalik na ang araw. Summer pa, di ba?!

* Finally, after three years of planning it, will be taking up badminton na.. Ala lang, bonding time with ol' friends. Ayan, baby, dami ko na distraction. :D

Labels: friends, Gonuts, heartache, Krispy Kreme, movies, relationships, work

The concert was a blast! I have not been in a mosh pit for soooooooooooooooooooooo long! There is just something very liberating about being in a rock concert, specially jumping, shoving, pushing, body slamming along with the music. Hahaha... Maybe last night was a tribute to my lost youth (argh!), a sort of last hurrah... but then again, maybe not.. Not just yet (I still have my Metallica concert to go to..) ;) Youth is after all, a function of our well-being and attitude, and not merely by age. :p

Well, I could carry on about Incubus and Brandon Boyd (OMG! hahahaha.. I'm such a groupie). But apart from the obvious bad boy appeal of the latter (i luuuuuv the tattoo'd arms), the band just has so much talent. Brandon writes good lyrics and their music is just, for lack of a better word, awesome.

Some of my favorites are Drive ("lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel.. Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and open eyes", Pardon Me ("So pardon me while I burst into flamesI've had enough of the world and its people's mindless games"), Warning ("Learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal.."), Just a Phase ("Temporaryism has been the black plague and the Jesus of our age"), Are You In?, Wish You Were Here, and from A Crow Left of the Murder -- Megalomaniac, of course, which made for a very good opening song because it definitely set the mood of the concert!; Talk Shows on Mute ("You're so much more endearing with the sound turned off"), Southern Girl ("Look no further, I'm yours") and Here In My Room ("If the world would fall apart in a fiction worthy wind, I wouldn't change a thing now that you're here...")... The list goes on.

The songs definitely express different moods, which makes it even more appealing. Some lyrics are angry, some can be tender. And in some cases, the lyrics echo thoughts that don't find their way out of my mind and to the person concerned. Just like this. This one's for you :D

"When you were down i always picked you up
Why didn't I recognize that everything was never fine?
I'm kicking myself that i shared spit with you
So fuck yourself
And fuck this bleeding heart of mine" - Leech

Labels: Brandon Boyd, concert, heartache, Incubus