Stayed late at work earlier. I was about to pack up and leave when crushie asked me something. I answered and he thanked me. And then our goodbyes :)

Crushie: Happy easter egg!
Me: Happy easter bunny!

Hahaha. Ang corny sobra. Pero aliw. What can I say? Haaay skul! lolz

Anyways, speaking of high school, I was FB'ing the other day, looking at the photo albums of a friend, when I suddenly saw a photo tag of an old high school crush of mine. For years and years, (and back when Friendster was still hip), I was trying to find him online. To no avail. Up till now, anyways. (Hallelujah, Facebook!)

Now this old crush and I were never friends. But we were crushing on each other. But that's a long story. Bottomline, in all my excitement, I didn't think twice about adding him as friend. His profile was open so I checked. Relationship status - blank. Wow, promising. Hehe. A couple of days later, he confirmed me as friend. Then I checked again. And this time, relationship status - married. Awwwwwww. There goes first love # 10000039020. Hehe. Seriously though, I did get affected. A little :)

Meanwhile, I remember a conversation I had with my two married girlfriends last Christmas. They were asking me if I still haven't changed my view about marriage, and I said no. And I jokingly said, "Kase we can't have crushes na if we're married". And both of them replied in unison "Who said so?" Haha. Yun naman pala. Pwede.

Labels: crush, work

We were practically hiding in a dungeon this week for our Lean/Kaizen activity. We thought it was a welcome break from our daily drudgery. But no! I was (and still am) physically and mentally drained. Toss in emotionally drained to that basket of woes as well. But like our Lean consultant would always tell us, a conscious mind cannot complain. I signed up for this, and really, I've been learning a lot, but man, this is more than I signed up for. Imagine being trapped in a room of bullies, trapos, ratholes - all the different office characters you can dare come up with. For TWO FULL DAYS. Argh. But anyways, we have pushed for what we wanted, and we got it, and now we're making some progress. Light at the end of the tunnel :) Meanwhile, I've gotten a chance to interact with more people I don't normally interact with, and I'm quite surprised with what I'm seeing. 

Labels: crush, work

Ali told me we should hang out and talk more often, and not just about work (yeah, we have a habit of going on and on about work... forgetting everything, and everyone else around, haha!), and maybe talk about our lovelives as well. And I replied, yeah, my non-existent one.

It's so hard having a boyfriend who's away all the time. No matter how much love you have for him, it will always be tested with all sorts of things and people and the worst of all, loneliness. We all get our bouts of loneliness, and when that hits me, it always pains me to think that he should be here instead of being far away. I'm not a needy woman, and I get by without a man just fine, but this love thing - it's so hard to just walk away from it. I mean, I have been through a lot when it comes to relationships, and by now I know what's real and what's not. This is definitely real. He is definitely real in his love and his intentions. And so am I. But like I always say, love is never enough.

Well, maybe this time around we'll figure it out. Gawd, we're this old and we still couldn't figure out relationships. Will it ever get easy? Or is it really all just... ern, wishful thinking.

In other news, I just really have to declare my love. For David Cook. I just super love him. He's always been my favorite. He brings out the rocker chick in me. Wahaha.

Labels: American Idol, David Cook, friends, love, work

Time moves so fast these days. Been getting 4 hrs sleep max. To think I've moved into a house near work because my body is just screaming at me by getting inflicted with viral infections every other week. But I find that it just never ends. "We are now in crisis mode". "We're starting a task force". We should do away with the buzz words and just say we screwed up, and now we're paying for it with no sleep, no rest, and just a sufficient amount of sanity left.

I don't know if I really still love what I'm doing. I mean, this job has the only been that's consistent in my life for the past 7 years. I've had several relationships, several homes in different countries or even cities with the Philippines, several other things in my life, but work has always been constant. Of course I've moved jobs, positions, ranks but, still in the same company. And I think I'm just really afraid to let go, because I just don't wanna get lost out there. I'm feeling lost already as it is, having to move around so much, with so many people coming in and out of my life either by choice or circumstance.

I'm up already and it's only 4AM. I guess I never really slept. I crashed into bed way before 9PM, only to get woken up in unknown intervals from work. I get SMS ocassionally, and I open them, read them, and just fall back to sleep. But we had an emergency meeting at 1AM, and we finished around 3.. now I'm awake, asking myself one million and one questions...

And maybe it was because of that call from the ex last night. We didn't really talk about anything of consequence. He was just asking me stuff about inventory and all, with his kids' laughter in the background, and it felt so natural and so like old times.. Yet I know, it's not like old times. Those days were long gone. And even mundane things like a conversation about beverages and supplies can really hit you right there in the middle, you know.

And you begin to wonder whether you really gave up on the right thing.

Labels: life, relationships, work

* Guess that's why I'm so forgiving of D. But this time, I am more determined to stick to my resolve.

* I was going through my medical files yesterday so I can show them to my best friend, Doc R. As I was reading through them, I started sobbing. I relived all the pain, fear and loneliness during the days before and after my surgery. These episodes are getting fewer, but I hope one day it will just stop.

* The more I think about it, the more I think I'm not taking the U.S. assignment. I watched Jersey Girl last night. It's like choosing a life in the city, and back in Jersey. In New York, Ollie will have a high-paying job, get more respect, live in a posh apartment. In Jersey, he can play in the dirt with his kid. It took him a while but he finally chose the latter. That is a metaphor for my life in Manila. Not that I wanna play in the dirt. But I wanna be here where my loved ones are. No amount of money or prestige can ever compensate for moments spent with those you love and who love you in return.

* Shrek 2 is hilarious. But I like the 1st one better. Still, I wanna own a DVD copy. Puss N Boots is adorable. Made me wanna get a cat. Not. Hehe. Pinnochio wearing a bright pink thong? Classic. :D

* Gonuts is so overrated. The long lines is absolutely not worth it. Krispy Kremes forever.

* Advil is the best invention ever. Next to that, the G-string panty liners..

* Gerry's Grill in Remedios Circle is so cramped. But never make a mistake of tranferring to Fusion, the bar next door. P*na. They only have about 10 choices for appetizers. Plus, ang mahal ng pagkain nila. P240 for sisig?! But admittedly, I liked their music. Plus SML is only P35. But still, I really would rather not spend P90 on potato chips.

* I love my friends. 18 years of friendship is just not something ordinary.

* Ang sarap when you have doctors as best friends. Free consultation. The other night, they were lecturing to me about The Pill. Nakakatawa. Felt like a teenager. Pero mas natawa sila when I asked "Do you need a prescription to buy them?" No, I wasn't kidding.

* Guess Coron will have to be planned for some other time. But I'll be going to Bora in a couple of weeks. Sana di bumagyo. Please, weather gods.

* The storms Dindo and Enteng are not good for my mood. Been really pensive and very senti last week. Tama na! Ibalik na ang araw. Summer pa, di ba?!

* Finally, after three years of planning it, will be taking up badminton na.. Ala lang, bonding time with ol' friends. Ayan, baby, dami ko na distraction. :D

Labels: friends, Gonuts, heartache, Krispy Kreme, movies, relationships, work

I'm supposed to close on some items still so I can have a peaceful vacation. But I'm still quite uninspired.. So I blog.

It's been a while since I've written anything more than a few sentences. Life has been toxic. Time flew so fast. Let's rewind a bit.

Last Saturday night: 30th birthday. There. I said it. Hahaha. Gawd, I have to get used to that. Had a party in Aruba. Boy, we had a blast. Tequila shots, dancing to the band, more tequila.. Hahahaha.. And guess who greeted me on the dot? 12MN, D calls. Whopee. Babaw. Hehehe..

The whole week: Week from hell. Lots of excurions. Appraisal download to engineers. Most were happy but one. Darn, I'm really disliking this manager bit. Argh. But I tried to close on the issues, because I wanted to go to the beach. And I think things are a bit settled now.

Dem. I really hope this is all worth the stress. Much as I hate to admit it, there's one more reason why I'm going. Slaps self. Gising.

Labels: birthday, party, relationships, work