This affair is really going somewhere. Now I can count on him to bring me beer as well. Hah. Life is good :)
-----------------------------------> > >
I'm still in my I-love-John-Mayer-so-I-keep-repeating-his-CD-in-my-changer mode. The lyrics - poetic. The guitar -stirring. The voice - sexy. The face - completes the whole package. :P Here are my top 4 songs in the album:

1. Back to You - Aptly captures my stuck-in-a-limbo state when it comes to, ah, him..
2. Why Georgia - "I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdictless life.. Am I living it right?" - They have a name for it now. Quarterly-life crisis. But I go through this year after year, every time I face transitions, changes... Am I making the right decisions? Should I leave or should I stay?
3. No Such Thing - "So the good boys and girls take the so called right track .... They read all the books but they can't find the answers..." So many questions, but the answers are so few.
4. Love Song For No One - "Staying home alone on a Friday, flat on the floor looking back on old love or lack thereof, after all the crushes are faded and all my wishful thinking was wrong, I'm jaded, I hate it" - I'm happy on my own. But sometimes I wonder if there is truth to all this soulmate bullshit. And if he is really out there...
-----------------------------------> > >
Played badminton yesterday after more than 10 years. The last time I competed was in high school. *pant* *pant*

Realizations:
1. No, it's not like riding a bike. As you get, err, older, your coordination also gets screwed up. Somehow, the holes in your racket get bigger and you just can't jump as high as you used to. Agility -- a thing of the past. Deng.
2. It's bad to see people actually laughing at you as you make that perfect move and whoosh, the ball drops right in front of you. Worse if you see them trying to hold their laughter you can almost feel their agony.
3. Somehow, old age has made me afraid of the damn ball. I mean, shuttlecock.
-----------------------------------> > >
I'm pissed. Fuck bureaucracy! There.

DIAMOND ROAD
Don't miss the diamonds along the way
Every road has led us here today
Life is what happens while you're making plans
All you need is right here in your hands - Diamond Road, Sheryl Crow from the album C'mon, C'mon

So true. My blog is becoming a lyrics site. Or my life is reduced to a series of song lyrics. Heh.

RIGHT ON
Yeah, these horoscopes sometimes hit the nail right on the head.

Your Weekly Horoscope for May 27 to June 02

Dear Trixy,
What remains this week after the aftermath of the past few weeks? You may be feeling a little the worse for wear in one sense, and yet in another feel a terrific sense of freedom and hope. The conjunction between the Moon and Pluto in opposition to Saturn at the start of the week may mean that you find yourself nursing a few hurt feelings, or working through some difficult emotions which may be causing you to feel saddened. This may be due to having to let go of certain things that were very dear to you, and yet you also know that this is the only way it could have happened. However, the conjunction between the Sun and Mercury is also enabling you to articulate how you feel inside, especially as it continues to be retrograde. This gives you time to order your innermost thoughts, and to decide what your next steps should be. With Mars your ruling planet moving into Cancer, you may feel like retreating into your own private space for a while, and giving yourself some time to prepare for the coming weeks. This will also give you a chance to recharge your batteries, ready for a complete new beginning.

Best wishes for today, from the astrologers of Astrocenter.com.

-------------------->>>

--I finally bought Room for Squares (John Mayer) today. I heard Back to You on the radio on the way home, so I decided to take a detour to the mall. Heh. OC. :P
--I wrote up our department monthly report for my manager and just received a "good report" note from one of the biggies (who's also a "toughie") in the Division*. Yipee!

* Division - simply put, an organization in the company working on product development. Yes, when I go to the U.S. this July, I'll be working in one of these divisions.

FEEL-GOOD
The other night I was trying sooo hard to study accounting and work on our assignment to the point of exhaustion. Just when I decided to take a nap, CB text'd and asked if I was still up. I told him I was but was getting ready to sleep so I can wake up early dawn to resume studying. He volunteered to be my "alarm clock". And he woke up at 2AM just so he could call and wake me, even if I told him not to do so. Sweet! CB just earned a couple of pogi points.. :)

I was able to complete my schoolwork. To top that, I received a few compliments yesterday at school (from people who matter, too).. "You look good..", "Nice tan", "You're looking great", "Nice blouse", "There's something different about you today... ".. After so many days of low self-esteem (brought to me by PMS, etc), I couldn't help but beam.

And to cap my Trixy-warped-to-teenhood blog --- was so kilig yesterday 'coz my school crush and I were alone at the elevator on the way to the parking floor and our cars were parked beside one another pa. Hihihi...

Ok, back to Tabing-Ilog. :P

ISN'T IT IRONIC

- It’s like rain when you’ve just driven away from the gas station after a PHP125 car wash (AND it also normally costs only 60-80 pesos in “regular” washing stations);
- It’s like suggesting a cost-effective alternative to an event which is budget-constraint only to be resisted through a vague response [i.e., it might arouse “personnel” issues];
- It’s a company that prides itself in efficiency but is actually still plagued with so much BS and bureaucracy when simple solutions exist;
- It’s like finally exchanging cellphone numbers with your school crush this term, six weeks before you are scheduled to leave for an 11-month work assignment in the U.S.;
- It’s like finally deciding to let go of biases and past relationship trauma and fall in love with someone who spent a lot of time and effort convincing you to do so, just when he tells you he has fallen in love at first sight with someone he just met;
- It’s deciding not to see the so-called great love of your life when you have waited half your life for that moment;
- It’s like wanting to scream; rant and curse but can’t because every freedom entails a great deal of responsibility…

------------------------------ > > >
Back to You
By: John Mayer from the album Room for Squares


Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late
Over you
I'm never over
Over you
Something about you
It's just the way you move
The way you move me

I'm so good at forgetting
And I quit everygame I play
But forgive me, love
I can't turn and walk away

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I walk with your shadow
I'm sleeping in my bed
With your silhouette

should have smiled in that picture
If it's the last that I'll see of you
It's the least that you
Could not do

Leave the light on
I'll never give up on you
Leave the light on
For me too

Back to me
I know that it comes
Back to me
Doesn't it scare you
Your will is not as strong
As it used to be

Pesky planners!* Two trainings + 1 download session, and in all sessions they DID NOT raise any questions. So why did I receive a bunch of emails from their management saying "Pls. note that the planners have attended before but they were not comfortable with the "presentation" and thus requested for additional training". Damn. How many fucking sessions do they need? And hello, I'm just about 6 cubicles away, couldn't they just holler and tell me they're too dumb to understand a simple REPORT instead of escalating to their bosses?

* Planners - their real jobs are aligning production volume as per customer requests. In a nutshell. Btw, I apologize to Johnnie. But deng, these new planners are really... sheesh!

---------------------------- > > >

Day 2 yesterday of work-out-till-you-pass-out. Would you believe we still pushed through with our Aero Taebo session in spite of the blackout the other day? Imagine kicking and punching your hearts out surrounded by candles. Seemed pretty eerie to me. With the gym looking like a cemetery, suddenly "I'm gonna do this even if it kills me" didn't sound remotely funny at all :)

I can hardly move my shoulders. But I feel good. Last night I realized I'm really not doing this for CB. In the end, I'm doing it for me. Next goal: rock climbing... :P

I'm in pain.

Last Saturday, I received another one of those rare calls from College Boy (CB), my Mr. Big. He asked me again if I will see him before I leave for the States. And I gave him my standard "Dunno". We haven't seen each other for 11 years and now, he tells me he's desperate to see me. I'm missing something here. But I shouldn't even bother analyzing this, right? I don't have any plans of seeing him. He is in Cebu. And even if I do get a chance to go home and visit my folks, I still won't give him a call. I have nothing to say to him. So much has happened in the years we were apart. I'm no longer that naive girl who thought she can handle a problem like CB. I know better. Besides, I promised myself that when we bump into each other again, I'd be such a hottie he will grieve 20x more than I (so that makes it 60 years.. hahaha)...

No, I did not exercise to death last weekend because I'm too fat, and there's no way he'll think I'm a hottie now. No, that's not the reason why my muscles are aching all over. No, I have no plans of seeing him.

Gawd. And there are days when I want to bang my head on the wall non-stop.

p.s.
Luzon-wide blackout again. The office folks are gone. I better get going now. Off to the gym. Hah.

LAST WEEK
No, it's not heat wave. But yes, temperatures here in the Philippines are higher than usual this summer. No wonder a lot of people are getting sick these days, including yours truly. *cough* *cough* *sniff* *sniff*. Arrrgh.

Good thing I had so much fun last week. Helped take my mind off the heat, and the pressure from work and school.

The Pahiyas experience was one of a kind (oh, but I did mind walking around under the intense heat of the sun to view the decorated houses for more than a couple of hours). The Lucban locals used food, usu. rice kiping as adornments. Very colorful! What a unique way of giving thanks for all our blessings. And indeed, in spite of the hardships of present times, we should never forget to look up to the high heavens and be grateful :)

Also had a great time at the beach. Was in Baywatch, Sariaya, Quezon and Munting Buhangin, Nasugbo, Batangas and we also hopped to Pulo Island, Pagbilao, Quezon…

Personally, though, I think my week’s highlight was Martin Nievera’s Onstage concert. Aptly called “Opening Night”, it was grandiose but it was also very personal. Martin definitely wowed his crowd. He even did a stunt ala-Spiderman. I swear. Simply amazing. :) Anyway, he sang this song that touched me so much. Guess I could relate since I’m on the road too often. :(

I'm Already There
By: Lonestar

He called her on the road from a lonely cold hotel room
Just to hear her say "I love you" one more time
And when he heard the sound of the kids laughing
In the background he had to wipe away
A tear from his eye a little voice came on the phone
And said "Daddy when you coming home"
He said the first thing that came to his mind

I'm already there take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
I'm your imaginary friend
And I know I'm in your prayers
Oh I'm already there

She got back on the phone said I really miss you darling
Don't worry about the kids they'll be alright
Wish I was in your arms lying right there beside you
But I know that I'll be in your dreams tonight
And I'll gently kiss your lips touch you with my fingertips
So turn out the light and close your eyes

I'm already there don't make a sound
I'm the beat in your heart
I'm the moonlight shining down
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there

We may be a thousand miles apart
But I'll be with you wherever you are

TEST
This is actually a psychological test... Pls. put your answers in the comments.. I will post the answer next week. :P

Here it goes...

The main character in the story is this girl...when she was at the funeral of her own mother...she met this guy who was also there... but she did not know who he was. Well...this guy happened to fit her bill of her dream guy, so she fell in love with him at once...love at first sight...

A few days later...the girl killed her own sister. When the cops asked her why she did that...she gave a very shocking answer...

So well...what is her motive in killing her sister?

Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again. She wanted to see him. Please, if you answered this correctly, go to the cops and tell them to lock you up ok? :P This was a test by famous American psychologists used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. In fact, a lot of arrested serial killers took part in this test and had answered it correctly. If you didn't answer correctly, good for you.

Trixy: Oh no, I have a bunch of potential-serial-killer readers!!! :P

REASONS
... why I decided to go to the Pahiyas:

1. I made a vow to visit all the 7,100 or so islands in the Phils. even if it takes a lifetime. Ok. So Lucban, Quezon is technically not another island, but I have to find a valid reason to convince myself to ditch work in the middle of the week, and miss submitting a live case in my PRIMAN class this Thurs. :P
2. This might be the 1st and last out of town trip with these set of friends before I take a leave of absence from school. Grabe. Seven weeks to go...
3. I cannot run away from something or someone forever.
4. Willow is right, life is short. I might never walk this way again.
5. Ok. Yokong magpaka-hipokrita. Want to see summer boy again :P Oh. Walang ko-contra :P
6. We’re spending the night at the beach. I really love listening to the waves hitting the sand.
7. Heh. I really just want to drink.

... why I was having second thoughts, in the first place:
1. If you've been reading this blog, you'll know. Hint: deleted entries ;)
2. I have a department meeting this Thurs. The other GLs still have not submitted their inputs to me. Now I have to find someone else to work on that for me.
3. Like I said, I have a live case due this Thurs. My personal mission statement is due this Saturday for one of my classes, and yeah, two accounting cases lang naman. (Like I said, this subject is for aliens. And I've never felt more human.)
4. I have colds. All I want to do right now is sleep. Zzzzzz...
5. Episode 2 opening on May 16. I'm going to miss it. Deng.
6. I have a monthly report publication due this Friday. There are no PLDT lines where I'm staying. So goodbye remote log-in.
7. The heat. Gawd. Normally, I only spend about 15 mins average outside, and I already feel like I'm in a spa. And no, I don't need a tan.
8. The crowd. I just dislike going through a maze of people. So not one of my favorite things.
9. Friday is date with Martin Nievera at Onstage. The last thing I want is looking like a raisin that night. Or toasted bread.
10. Oh, did I mention we have a department outing this Friday, and yes, we're going to the beach as well? Sun, sun, go away!! :)
11. There's a good chance I might run into my recent stalker. A friend told me he’d rather have a stalker than have no admirers. I mean, hello! I’d really rather eat in a table for one.

… why I was laughing so hard a few minutes ago:
1. I was watching Sex and the City earlier and cracked up when Charlotte was diagnosed with a depressed vagina.. Hahaha.. hahaha... hahaha... **Trixy still laughing**

SICK
I'm not feeling well. Again. Caught colds for the nth time this summer. Must be the sweltering heat. Manila was 93F today!!! Then of course, you go inside the office where it's about 60 degrees lower. It's so cold here it's hard to be productive. I wanna cry conspiracy. Me thinks maybe our corporate services folks work for the competitor :D

Anyway, I'm off tom. to the Pahiyas Festival, despite the fact that I'm sick, I have tons of work queued in my task list, plus I have three MBA assignments due this week!! Eeek!

FOR THE RECORD
Thanks for the greetings! But though I'd like to be a mom someday, and I call my nephews and nieces my babies, I am not a mom. Yet. Not in the real sense of the word anyways :P

PLUGGIN', LUVIN'
In case you haven't noticed yet, I have added a few more wonderful links... Unica Hija's entries are all in lists. Unique! I can relate to this and this. Can you guess my hit rate? :D

I've said it again, and I'll say it once more, hurrah to two of the coolest moms I've met.. Willow: tough yet sweet (specially to her lovely kids...) and Mona: my kind of geeky-cool-witty role model!

Raymond, who works in IBM (and so I must be nice to him... customer orientation is one of our company core values after all.. hihihi), has led me to a few wonderful reads, shared very useful code which I've already implemented (yey! now all my links open in a new window) and a lot of insights about relationships (he has written about soul mates, male-female friendships, etc..) and so on...

If you want to get a load of male POV, go check out Nic (who just blogged about the shallowness of men), Sieg (have you heard about pritchon?) and Rene (soccer enthusiast). Dennis, on the other hand, is your stereotypical Peyups guy. Send some luvin' to Benboy who's had tough luck recently. Go to Josh for some inspirational posts :)

And, yey to girl power!: Bunny, Ananova, Jackie, Gail, Ellen, Mariel, Denden, Erna, Pammy, Lille, Jessel.. (Hey, Cristina, where are you??)

btw, Fudz, thanks for your mature woman's perspective =) and Mark, pls. drop a note if we're playing where in the world? again ha.. hehe..

Thanks to all who leave comments in my posts and messages in my board. A few nice words never fail to bring a smile to my face. And these days I need a lot of those.. Ü

To my beloved i-wouldn't-exchange-you-for-anyone-else-in-the-whole-wide-world MOM, my three lovely sisters - Ate Chan, Ate Ais and Ann, who are great mommies (to these angels), and to the other mommies who ROCK:



HäPpY MÖThErS' DäY!!! Ü

ANGELS
Simple joys.. natural highs.. thinking about my little angels never fail to make me smile.. And I want to smile. For real. Again.

BLAH
Sure the OPH is justified. Go tell that to the tens of thousands of commuters who have to deal with the ff:

1. Toll fee - PHP35.50, one-way; If you take the Skyway (bec. you were dumb enough to stay on the non-swerve lane), that's a whopping PHP89, one-way; that's at least PHP2k per month
2. Monthly gas consumption - PHP3k min for home-work-home commute; higher, depending on gimik frequency and location
3. Wear and tear, maintenance expenses - PHP1000 min per month. My car expenses last month: PHP2.5k for brake pad replacements; PHP3.1k for car repair (due to accidents)
4. Misc expenses - bi-weekly car wash/wax and vacuum, parking fees, expenses for side mirrors/brake lights, etc lost to the thieves in Banaue, Q.C., expenses lost to extortionists (bec. of ghost traffic violations), additional cigarette consumption during a jam, M&S air fresheners to remove ugly smell inside car because of smoking, new CD's to make commute time more enjoyable and non-redundant, hundreds of pesos lost to texting or making calls when bored during traffic jam, liters of bottled water to ease a tired soul.. blah.. blah.. blah..

Ok. I will shut up now. :P

COLORGENICS PROFILE
::link from Sunny Side Up::

You are longing for some love and affection at this time - not that you have been deprived of tender loving care - but there are times when everyone needs to try something new or to go 'somewhere' else to perhaps experience that little extra 'understanding'.

You are full of stress at this time. It would seem that you are having more than your fair share of trials and tribulations and you are looking for a way out. You are not quite sure which way to go but the advice is - 'Stop trying so hard'. [Same thing Nic told me. Hah. :P]

You are confined and trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way out. Whatever you seem to do to resolve the problem hasn't worked out. Fortunately you are able to gain some aspect of relief from someone close to you.

Unacceptable restrictions have been forced upon you and this is resulting in severe frustration and stress. You are looking for independence and consequently you shy away from any restriction and avoid obligations of anything which might prove hampering. You are being subjected to considerable pressure and want to escape from it so that you can obtain what you need, but unfortunately at this particular moment in time you lack the necessary strength of purpose to succeed in this.

Trying to cope with conditions which you think are beyond your capabilities has led to considerable anxiety and stress. You now feel that you are not capable of coping with this situation and indeed any situation which could arise from what you consider to be your personal inadequacy.

SNARKY
Still in a snarky mood.. Daming pampagulo eh.. And the root of all evil? Take a guess... :)

Things that made me want to start the day over:

1. Another oil price hike coming up. No, make that two, they said, before the month ends! 'tangina, mukhang kelangan ko na talagang gumising ng alas-kuwatro ng madaling araw para sumabay na lang sa shuttle papuntang opis. Eeek!
2. See picture... Aaarghhh... This means I'll have to take the next exit! Should be another 10-20 mins additional travel time.

MASK
Entry deleted for personal reasons.

GEEK
Techno-geeks (like me? haha.) can ogle at the latest gadgets here... Speaking of geeks, Spidey has proven once and for all that geeks rule! :P

RIGHT KIND OF WRONG
Know all about your reputation
And how it's bound to be a heartbreak situation
But I can't help it if I'm helpless
Every time that I'm where you are
You walk in and my strength walks out the door - Right Kind of Wrong, LeAnn Rimes, from the soundtrack of Coyote Ugly

Gawd. My heart is beating so fast. Dem. He is bringing back memories I thought I have already buried in the past. Or memories I thought I no longer cared about. But why am I feeling weak? Or maybe it's because I've only had coffee and a cig the whole day. Nope. It's definitely because of him. I remember this was exactly how he made me feel 7 or 8 years ago. Giddy with excitement. Weak with anticipation. I guess that's how it is, when you can't have what you want. Hah. My very own Mr. Big.

BEING SINGLE
I went to see a psychic and I paid for good advice
He said "Forget a romance 'til you've sorted out your life.
Be your own mother and your father and your sister and brother,
And even try to crack the art of being your own lover... - Girlfriend, Julia Fordham

Bunny posts about her (former) single life.. Raymond recently posted about a book on relationships. Below is a review from Amazon.com, cut and paste from the same post:

"He blames the widespread inability to find long-lasting love on consumer habits that have crept into current dating mores (e.g., waiting for the 'best' person to marry), and spending too much time on love-substitutes (work, friends, sex, independence) that prevent love from entering the lives of men and women alike. With his usual sprinkling of religious references (Adam and Eve are used as relationship role models), Boteach encourages singles to acknowledge their loneliness and work on their own behaviors and choices instead of merely lamenting the lack of worthy mates or lauding the joys of the single life..."

This is all I have to say for now: One's loneliness (or happiness, for that matter) should not be a function of one's status. We are the masters of our emotions and feelings. Difficult it may be, we have the power over how to respond to and manage our feelings. After all, life is all about choices. We are how (and who or where) we are, because we chose to be.

The Rock is now on Xbox! Another reason why I should get an Xbox. Hihi..

I had burnt popcorn for dinner. Gawd, I can't even microwave popcorn properly. Deng.

Anyway, I came across this blog. Her writings are interestingly laid out; her honest, raw emotions and her colorful life will keep you glued. More important, Willowtree is another strong woman. Yay to that!

HAD A DATE
... with Spidey at the movies tonight, which also simultaneously opened in U.S. theatres. Fun movie! I have now officially transferred my affection from the The Rock to the geek .. :)

I just wonder, though, why do most superheroes live such sad, lonely lives? Pray tell.

CEBUANA KA, 'DAY?
So this is why Dennis knows how to speak Cebuano :) I tried so hard to learn Spanish when I had a crush on this Costa Rican guy I was working with. But, after almost six months in Costa Rica, I’ve only managed to add No habla Espanol and La cuenta, por favor in my vocabulary :P

After living here in Manila for five years, mas o menos, I’ve become assimilated. However, I used to get annoyed when asked “Bakit wala kang punto?” (why don’t you have an accent?). While it’s probably true that most Cebuanos are matigas ang dila (deng, someone pls. translate that), I just hate it when people make generalizations. Hate it even more when I see yayas (housemaids) in the movies typecast with a bad accent and all. And if someone would give me that anak ng Diyos attitude, I wouldn’t hesitate to give back a piece of my mind. But I’ve learned two things: we live in a world full of biases and bigotry, and second, we have to choose our battles. Now I just shrug whenever people ask me the punto question. After all, I'm at an advantage here. If I get really pissed, I can just go ahead and swear in Cebuano. :D

REMINISCING
Speaking of Costa Rica, reading Tina’s account reminded me of my own trip and adventures three years ago. Gawd, I miss the guaro, la agila, salsa, merengue and the ticos.. :)

STATING THE OBVIOUS
How do you guys like my almost all-purple template? Hehe... I've increased my font size, too due to insistent public demand... (Yano and Joe, that's you..Haha)

Ey, Mark, I decided to stick with my new title even if I know I don't have to dine in a table for one.. (another round of thanks to all my dearest friends..) I'm just in this stage where I'm truly enjoying being single.. It's been more than a year since my last romantic relationship, and though I miss having "someone to come home to", relearning the basics of independence and flushing out co-dependence from my system has been quite liberating.

And yeah, I'm still considering transferring my blog to a different URL... *wink*.. and go hide again behind the cloak of anonymity... specially, if my lovelife ever becomes racy.. Mwahaha..

Lastly, check out my links.. Added some and updated a few... And do visit Rice Bowl Journals. Lots of good reads from fellow Asian bloggers there... Ah, go find that man who is looking for a girlfriend in 40 Days and 40 Nights.. (from Raymond's post)

P.S.
Am so loving this song nowadays...:)


Someday We'll Know
by New Radicals (revived by Mandy Moore feat Jonathan Foreman)

90 miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving
I don't know why
So many questions
I need an answer
Two years later, you're still on my mind

Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart
Who holds the stars up in the sky
Is true love once in a lifetime
Did the captain of the Titanic cry

Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis
Or what the wind says when she cries
I'm speeding by the place where I met you
For the 97th time tonight

Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me?

([Post Script:] seeing you in February was great
cliches eventually all come true "time heals all
wounds" I went to get us our ninth drink
and you ran out the door with another guy
I woke up on the floor with my shoes on
A smile on my face and I don't even care)

GIRLS IN THE CITY
“I’d like to believe that I’m not looking for someone, but the fact that I go on dates tells me otherwise. But why is it that I always find something wrong with these men? Am I crazy?” Arlene’s expression was almost worn-out.

Petite and I unanimously answered NO! Yes, I admit, even as I’m happy as a single twenty-something girl who is not dating anyone special at the moment, it does get lonely at times. But that should never let us become complacent if there’s a room for doubt in our minds and in our hearts. Don’t settle. In the end, it’s just going to become lonelier. All the ranting and raving about bad relationships becomes old and hackneyed, as well.

It was almost cinematic that my two best friends and I were hanging out in the “Sex and the City” bar tour party in Venezia while having this conversation. Here we were, three friends who were smart and successful (ahem :)), but found ourselves struggling when it comes to the dynamics of male-female relationships. Arlene tells us about her dating life. She is (was?) dating an engineer. They had a few good dates. She likes the guy. But then all of a sudden the guys stops calling. She doesn’t have a clue what happened. She met a lawyer. Had several stimulating text and phone conversations with him. And then they meet. She wasn’t attracted to the guy. She tells him off. And he’s stalking her now. As for me, I’m still not over TLB, am being haunted by the ex’s in my life, stalked by a boy I met while on vacation, and had a major falling out with my best guy friend (we’re ok now, btw. Yey!). [Risa, our other best friend, is regularly dating a fellow doctor and though they aren’t seriously discussing about marriage yet, she is quite content just taking one day at a time, focusing on finishing her OB-GYN residency.] As for Petite, she’s now happily engaged, so I guess, at least one of us has it figured out a bit. :)

Episode 1 of the 4th season of “Sex..” was shown during the party. Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha discussed whether they believed in soul mates. Carrie, who was celebrating her 35th birthday was analyzing why she still has not found her soul mate (noun : a person temperamentally suited to another). In the end, they decided they were each other’s soul mates. In the same token, I believe I have found my soul mates, too. At this point, even if I’m only dating a bunch of “unspecial people”, I have three special people (apart from my family, of course), who are always there when I need them. They are the kind of friends who call when you text that you’re sad and they don’t even ask why. They remained constant amidst the changes in our lives. No, we don’t go out for coffee and talk regularly. But that’s the beauty of it. We don’t need to do that to remain great friends. I guess there is that kind of love that transcends time and distance. I sure am one lucky girl. I have three soul mates!