The Man of Steel is back. In a grand fashion, to boot.

To say that I loved the movie, is an understatement. But let me try to count the ways:

1. Brandon Routh as Superman = PERFECT

I certainly don't want to sound irreverent. Christopher Reeve is a Hollywood icon, and my childhood memories will always include him as THE Superman.

Routh may never surpass the status that Reeve as Superman achieved. But Routh, whose uncanny resemblance to the original movie-version superhero can't be missed, successfully breathed life into the comic book character that so many of us love.

He looks the part. And good acting for a newcomer. See, even if we all know that Clark Kent is Superman, Routh is able to convince us why the make-believe world of Metropolis (not even Lois, who's close to both characters) don't have a clue. (It must be that single curl, I think it hypnotizes people and prevents them from seeing the obvious.)

2. Pointing out another obvious, Brandon Routh is uber gorgeous. He just brings out all the school girls in us. Every time he appears on screen, I got tempted to either scream like a teenager or do a Parker Posey (rather, Kitty) on him. "Do you wanna have coffee sometime?"... Hahaha.. Sobrang kilig.

3. Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. "K-k-rrrrrrrryp-tonite!" I fell in love with Spacey in The Usual Suspects (which I just found out, is a Singer film as well - why am I not suprised? :)). He is a great actor. 'Nuff said.

4. Great effects. Didn't need to watch it in an Imax theatre to feel the scenes. Astig! But, after all the queue is gone, I will watch Superman Returns again in Mall of Asia's 3D Imax. That will be fun!

5. Loved the story. This is the movie version of TV's Smallville, where Superman is painted as very human, inspite of his superpowers and greatness. He is not immune to love or pain.

One of my favorite scenes in the movie was brief but it spoke a lot. That was when he flew out to space, kept still, closed his eyes and listened to the rest of the world crying out for someone to save them, as if to drown his own pain with their cries for help. After spying on the love of his life and her family, he realized that Lois can never have that life with him. The longing he felt for something unattainable was so palpable, it makes you want to reach out to him and comfort him. It was in his pain and solitude that he finally embraced his destiny as mankind's saviour, after years of searching for his place in the universe.

Another favorite scene would be the one where Superman and Lois were first alone together. Just when Lois was about to let go of Superman, there were so many words that were left unsaid. Instead they just looked at each other intently. They love each other and they know it, but they just cannot be together.

Yeah, tragic love stories just get to me. Sigh.

6. I loved that this movie pays tribute to the original Superman movie, and of course, Reeve. Using the original score almost tricked us into thinking that it was only 5 years ago since Superman disappeared from the big screen, instead of the almost 20 years that it really is.

They even used the original Jor-el clip. Now we all remember how the young Marlon Brando looked like.

7. Like other superhero movies, Superman Returns remind us again how lucky we are to be human. We don't have to take the weight of the world's burdens on our shoulders. We don't have to wear silly costumes in order to fulfill our destiny. We don't need invisible geeky alter egos. Best of all, we are free to love and be with the people we love. Unless of course you are me (then you'd fall for people who were bound to leave eventually). Harhar.

8. The movie reminds us that being different is not a cause for confusion or shame. Or that even superheroes cry, so we shouldn't be afraid to be vulnerable.

9. It was cool that they mentioned Manila in the scene where the television showed Superman news flash reports from all over the world.

10. Superman is prolly everyone's favorite hero. And this new movie makes you love Superman all the more.

When I saw Clark first rip open his shirt to reveal his Superman costume inside, I was as excited as a girl on her first date. The first time he appeared in the movie in all his superhero glory, saving the world (or Lois) yet again, I clapped my hands. Seriously. Hehe.

So yeah. Superman returns. Indeed.

* Photos courtesy of the movie's official website :)

I tried.

___

Happy birthday, Jay! :) Wishing you happiness, peace and love...

Some of my officemates are going to a conference and they were told to wear "business casual". When asked what that meant, the coordinator replied - whatever you wear to work.

So I said, for me, that meant flip-flops. Hahaha. That description is not quite right.

college girls wearing flip-flops in the White House

I'm not 100% sure, but I suspect I was the first one who wore flip-flops to the office. To the disdain of my ex-boss. "You're always wearing flip-flops.." He told me one time. Which I guess really meant "Why the hell do you keep wearing flip-flops?"...

For a stuck-up generation who eat and breathe AR's for a living, the flip-flop is an insult. It symbolizes a laid-back personality, forever on vacation mode. And at work, people penalize or judge you for having a life. It's almost like a sin to be doing something on your weekends other than read your emails or draft proposals or make powerpoint presentations.

Wearing flip-flops makes you look too comfortable. Too relaxed. It becomes a perception issue. And while I don't really care, I decided to keep the rebel girl in me at bay and start toning down things a bit. Besides, there are too many people wearing Havaianas at work now. Time to set a new trend. Wahaha.

Mexico gets knocked out in the second round of the finals but Argentina advances, with a perfect goal from Maxi Rodriguez to highlight the match. Argentina vs Germany - now that will be a match that shouldn't be missed. Sigh.

---ooo---
It's a lazy Sunday morning and the sun is hiding among the clouds outside. Perfect day to catch up on my readings or movies or internet surfing. Hehe.

I was unsuccessful in finding my flipflops yesterday. I searched through all the shops that carried Havaianas in Rockwell and Glorietta. Only Rustan's had Germany and Argentina, but none in my size. Waaaaaaaaaaah!! No more deliveries til August daw. Huhuhu. Howell.

So in my disappointment, I ended up buying two new pairs of shoes, something I haven't done in a long time (because I still have so many that I've stopped wearing since my affair with Havaianas)... Will I drop my tsinelas affair and go back to my original love for shoes? Let's wait and see.. Hehe.

---ooo---
What would you do?

Your high school classamate who's been based abroad hit on you* the last time he went home. You told him you only see him like a brother (your high school friends are really like family). He didn't press the matter. Fast forward 1 or 2 years later, a reunion is coming up. He's been calling you for almost weekly for about two months now. Mostly you talk about the reunion, but he let it slip that he misses you, and hints about that episode a couple of times. You just brush it off. He's still like a brother to you. There's going to be a meeting in August, the weekend before your CDO trip. The reunion is the weekend after the Cebu-Bohol adventure in September. So you say you can't make it to both. It's going to be costly, plus that will make your sked quite harried. He offers to pay for your tickets on both trips. Will you accept the offer?


* he told you he wanted to bring you back to Oz with him and he attempted to kiss you.

I know I said the Brasil Cup slippers would be my last pair. No mas. But, my love affair with Havaianas is only beginning to blossom. I'm not ready to let go. Not yet. Even if there are so many reasons why I should fold, there's a million more that tells me to call. (I guess I'm really not talking about flip-flops here. Hahaha)

Like the fact that the World Cup Argentina feels and looks nice on my feet. (And of course, I think they will face Brasil in the World Cup finals, hehe)..

And then there's the man of steel.

And this.

So after school today, I will go find what will make happy. Haha.

Speaking of happy, I've been waiting for several days now to really get a good cry. I dunno, I wanted to let out my emotions thru tears, instead of writing about them all the time. I tried watching senti movies, thinking sad thoughts, whatever would help me. It didn't come. But last night, as I was driving home after hanging out with Ali, Van and Allan at ATC, it came. Without warning, without trigger. Just like that. The tears started falling and I was crying all the way back home. I felt better by the time I arrived. Moreso, knowing that even if I get lonely sometimes, I will never have to be lonely alone. I have friends who are ready to give a hug, or who make you asar (hahaha, ok, so this part just makes the dynamics of our friendship more interesting), or to exercise and lose weight with. Being with real friends, like a getting a good cry, is cathartic :)

Speaking of waiting, it also came this morning. What I've been waiting for, for more than two weeks now. And it's a good thing. There's really no more room for mistakes the next time around, so I want to do it right... Right time, right circumstances.

Everyone needs a hero. And today, Wade is a hero to a lot of people. Including me. Wade, or Flash, brought Miami Heat to its first NBA title, taking the series 4-2 against the Mavs, also looking for its first title. The last four games were as exciting as they were nerve-wracking, and in the end, it’s over. Miami Heat. Champions. NBA Finals 2006.

Yay! Beers and chips to follow.


* pictures borrowed from NBA.com :)

It's almost 2AM. Just finished watching Close To You. Yeah, it's definitely much much better than Firewall. Howell.

2/3 of the movie takes us to scenic Filipinas - Davao, Dumaguete and Bohol, where almost all the kilig shots were done as well. Man, this is Sam Milby. He is everyone's dreamboy, and I bet any girl would want to go through that trouble for him. And in one of the final scenes where he asked Bea's character "Don't you love me?", I bet all the moviegoers were screaming "I do!" in their seats. I know I wanted him to ask me that question. And of course, I'd say yes. Hahaha.

In real life, of course, my own man is thousands of miles away, and he is exactly what drove me to watch this silly yet funny romantic comedy. Endorphin dose. We've only been away from each other for two weeks, and already, I'm ready to give up on this. Waiting isn't just my thing. What kind of a relationship is that anyway, when we can't even talk to each other more frequently than 1x a week? Yes, we had a friendship that blossomed as far back as 10 years ago, and the last three months with him was just bliss. But is that enough to last me through another few months of waiting?

Maybe it's too soon to throw in the towel. But this is harder than I thought it would be.

Or at least the men in my life. It's father's day. I used to be such a dad's girl. And there was a time that we almost had to choose between dad and mom, I vehemently said I'd choose him. Mom and I were never close. My childhood memories of her were so blurry. It doesn't mean I love her any less. Specially now. I'm a grown up, and I have let the past go. But with papa, it's different. No matter what his mistakes and shortcomings, he will always be the best father for me. I love you!

* * *
I miss talking to R. I spent the whole weekend without talking to anyone. Well, not until I called my brother just now. But I said no to a friend's invit to go out Saturday night. It was an excuse to talk to someone, anyone, but it's him that I want to talk to. The last time he called me was a week ago. He will be in Long Beach around midnight tonight. And that's all I've been waiting for the whole weekend, no, the whole week. Coz that's the only time he can call me. I miss you, kulit. And sometimes I want to hate you for making me miss you like this.

My old site was finally removed from blogger. Table for One, after almost 25k views, is gone forever except for the ghost otherwise known as the cached entries. And that girl who used to write those blogs? She's the same but so much different now. As I updated my blogrolling account, I discovered a good number of my links have been inactive/dead as well.

Everyone changes. Everyone moves on.

And in a totally different subject, here's my lyrics share for today (on repeat in blog soundtrack, Everything Changes by Staind).

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
would it matter anyway?
would it change how you feel?

I am the mess you chose
the closet you can not close
The devil in you I suppose
'cuz the wounds never heal

(Chorus)
But everything changes
if I could turn back the years
If you could learn to forgive me
then I could learn to feel

Sometimes the things I say
In moments of disarray
Succumbing to the games we play
To make sure that it's real

(Chorus)

When it's just me and you
Who knows what we could do
If we can just make it through
through this part of the day

(Chorus)

Then we could
Stay here together
And we could
Conquer the world
If we could
Say that forever
It's more than just a word

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
It wouldn't matter anyway.
It wouldn't change how you feel

I tried. Not to miss you so much. Not to think about you even. And for a while I thought I was successful. But now I know better. I have been waiting for you to call or text me for one week now. It's only been a week and it's already killing me. I don't think I can do this for so long. My heart breaks a million pieces every time I long for you. And I'm not sure you can make it all whole again by the time you come back...

It was a draw in their last match sans Borgetti against Angola, a first-timer in the World Cup. While it was not good for Mexico, it did give Angola a glimmer of hope. So if anything else, there was some humanitarian victory in match #23.

Match #39 next week, this time against Portugal (#7 in the ranking), is one of the most anticipated in this year's tournament. I wanna watch it with a beer in tow. Govsters, let's have a futbol party! Have to figure out the airing sked, though. Harhar.

Anyways, I came across some trivia. Only seven countries have won the World cup Championship since it began in 1930. Mexico is not one of them, of course, but they came in strong this year. It's a long shot, but, I wanna root for a team other than Brazil for once. Brazil, of course, which has won 5 titles, is the world's darling when it comes to futbol. And don't get me wrong, I am one of their billions of fans, and it helps that my most favorite flip-flops is made from Brazil.

The other countries include: Germany and Italy, with 3 titles each, followed by Uruguay and Argentine (who can ever forget Diego Maradona??) with 2 each and England (way before David Beckham was even born, hehe) and France with 1.

I'm really looking forward to watch the finals in July. Everyone all over the world will literally be on their feet. I watched the 2002 FIFA World Cup Finals, with Ronaldo as the hero, with Petite and Mark in what used to be Streetlife in Glorietta. That was fun. Germany certainly didn't back down then. And they could still be in this year's finals. Will it be Germany vs Brazil again this year? Or will there be an 8th country to make it in the list of World Cup champions? Hmmm...

I hung out with the Govsters last night, specifically the Frederick and Hagerstown kids :) But before I talk about our little Friday gimik, I'll digress a little bit.


2005 was probably one of the best I've had in recent years. And all the more because I met some really great friends thru our April Bora trip, our biking sessions and Sagada. Jerk and Allan became my housemates this year, and Ali and Van, they're sort of like my (little) sisters (though there are times I'm more kulit than they are). We all live just a street apart now, so we end up hanging out almost every week night, and thus, govsters. Hahaha.

But our friendship goes beyond the hanging out. Even during the times we don't see or talk to each other, I know for a fact that they are all on stand-by. An SMS or call away. I'd call Ali for kikay issues. Van during tearjerker moments. Jerk for practical dilemmas. And Allan for gimik cravings.

The point is, they don't always go out of their way to do nice and thoughtful things, but I know they will, when I need them to. So, thanks, you guys :)

Going back to Friday night, the five of us went out for dinner, movie and coffee (or tea). Dinner was at Sbarro's, one of our favorite comfort-food places. We all ordered the same meals - white cheeze pizza and bake ziti.. Sabi ni Jerk, parang magkakapatid talaga. Hahaha. And yeah, we were totally pigging out. We used our very stress-busting, sweat-generating badminton on Thu night as justification for our, uhm, diet trespasses. Harhar.

The Lake House was up next. "How do you hold on to someone you've never met?" That's the tag line of the movie, but it is really more than just the time-space overlap thing.

Keannu is still stoic, and I think someone like Kate Beckingsale would have been a better choice than Sandra Bullock for Dr. Forester's part, but it was not a bad movie altogether. It had some light moments, and kilig moments too. In fact, Ali was so overjoyed. But I think it was only because our last movie together totally bummed to the point that it traumatized us. No one would dare pick a movie now lest we make the same mistake. Hahaha.

No spoilers on this post as the movie just opened. But what I like best about the storyline was the one about connection. We just don't develop feelings for random people in this life. Fate brings people together but it's up to us to keep or break the connection. Like Dr. Forester said, "if we wait too long, it might be too late"...

The Lake House is a remake of Il Mare, a popular South Korean film, which has better reviews than this present version. I have yet to watch it though, and if anyone has a DVD copy, please throw them my way (with love, of course, hehe).

And yeah, we all want to read the book, Persuasion by Jane Austen now. We just want to figure out all the whispering. Hehehe.

The film's cinematography more than makes up for the lackluster performance of the two main characters, or the sometimes incoherent dialogue. Despite some logical questions, moviegoers should just take this movie for what it is -- a love story, which is sometimes poignant, sometimes funny, sometimes pained. This movie is not on my best/must-see list, but I didn't mind watching it.

Starbucks was the last on our agenda and we just laid back and sipped our teas or fraps. It was a perfect way to end our night. Steady lang.

Tsinelas edition. Ugh. I want!

“We’ve fallen into this rhythm so fast; it feels like we’ve known each other forever. I know we’ve only known each other for five months, but it’s enough. Because after five minutes, I knew.” – Bernard (proposing to Rose), Lost Season 2

Some news in my life elicited congratulatory smiles, a big bear hug or a grin from ear to ear. No, I still haven’t completed my MBA, five years after I started. I did not replace my expat manager whose assignment has ended. I’m not pregnant. It’s a seemingly mundane event as a three-word Friendster status update – “in a relationship”.

My friends’ reactions were amusing, if not a little disconcerting. A lot of my friends said I was the eternal single girl. And even if I don’t think that’s a bad thing, I refused to agree. But their over joy somehow transformed my own happiness into disbelief or maybe lack of faith in what I’ve gotten myself into. After a series of short-lived romances, I was beginning to believe that normal relationships were not meant for me. And maybe up to now, I still want to run away.

“In a relationship”. Yes, at 32, that is a big deal. More importantly, after settling for meantime boys, it’s a breakthrough.

So what if there are no assurances? What if somewhere along the way, I really don’t want to be in this relationship? Or if he no longer wants to be in it? What is important is that now we still both want to and we are trying. What have I got to be afraid of? It’s not an engagement. It’s just a beginning. Hopefully of something that will stay wonderful for years to come.

R is one of the best things that ever happened in the relationships department since that big X fiasco. And yes it is not easy. Him being away at the moment, and communication even made harder by the facts that we are time zones apart and that he spends more time at sea than on land. But, no one ever said life was easy. Or love for that matter.

But when easy doesn’t come, you just have to keep the faith going. Love just won’t go anywhere without it.

Am I the only one (ok, both R & I) who didn't catch the X3 epilogue? Wonder why I didn't hear of that in the first place. And now I have to wait for the DVD copy to actually get to see it. Feh.



Why would the moviemakers wait until the very end to show it anyways? Glad I didn't cry during Prof. Xavier's death scene then.

Your Brain is 47% Female, 53% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female. You are both sensitive and savvy. Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level-headed. But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve.

This is the season which most wives apparently hate, where their biggest rivals will be - SPORTS. The World Cup just kicked off and NBA Finals is ongoing. People actually even came up with some World Cup rules.

"Dear Wife, Partner, Girlfriend,

From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention..."

Hahaha. I'm glad I don't need that kind of memo from my kulit because I enjoy playing sports and watching as well, so I can sit out any sports with him. Except of course that he's no longer here to enjoy the games with. Howell.

I'm going to root for Mexico in the World Cup just because R is there all the time. Hahaha. And maybe for Costa Rica, too. To support my Tico friends ;) They can be so darn fanatic, an officemate actually flew to Germany to watch the opening. Wow.

Meanwhile, game 2 between Mavs and Heat is going in favor of the former :( Dirk Nowitzki is a force to reckon, and I respect his game. But the Mavs beat the Suns, so you know, my loyalty is solid. Hahaha. Besides R and I have this private joke going. When he is in teasing mode, he calls me Shaq. Guess why? Harhar.

Anyways, here's some trivia for you guys (thanks to the name game for the 1st one).

Did you know that there are only 3 NBA teams that do not end with the letter S? Answer: Utah Jazz, Orlando Magic and Miami Heat :)

And this one via the sportscaster ;) Nowitzki is from a small town called Wurzburg in Germany (population: 175,000). This is also the town where the discoverer of the x-ray back in the 1800's, Wilhelm Roentgen , was from.

Grey's is becoming a staple in conversation nowadays. Viewers/fans just can't get enough. Aside from the great stories/dialogues/actors, there's also the eye candy. Hehe. I do hope McSteamy will come back in Season 3. Eric Dane, who played the uber hunk Mark (Derek's ex-best friend turned rival), actually made an appearance (or should I say appearances? hahaha) in X3 (last movie date with R) as Multiple Man. But before this, he played a recurring role in Charmed Season5/6 as Jason, Phoebe's boyfriend. No wonder he looked so familiar.

I finally finished watching the last 4 episodes of Prison Break Season 1. For me to temporarily abandon Michael in order to spend quality time with R is a big deal. After all, how many sleepless nights have I spent with my beloved Fish? Harhar. I missed his blue eyes. You can’t help but root for him, even if he is breaking so many rules. I can’t wait for Season 2 (coming this fall)! 0o0

M is now officially just a friend again. I think this whole deal left a huge hole in our friendship, but all is well. He found his true love and I’m happy for him. I honestly think that if I had kept tagging along as his buddy/sidekick, that might not have happened. But then again, who knows? Anyways, I’ll block the 22nd for him. He told me now we can finally hang out. The night before he leaves. Irony is a cruel thing. But that’s life.

0o0

A couple of mushrooms (men who are pasulpot-sulpot) have made an appearance in the last week since R left. Just another one of them jokes being played on me. But I’m done dealing with mushrooms. I’ve wasted enough of my time on you guys already. So go away.

0o0

An old “friend” is apparently engaged. Moving on seems to be quite the theme nowadays. And everyone’s happy. Two snaps!! :)

0o0

It’s the start of a long weekend and it’s also the 1st weekend since R left. I promised that I will try to not miss him as much and actually be productive instead. I will think of the days that passed by as a week crossed out until we see each other again. Silver lining.

0o0

Update: I wrote this post last Friday night. I only got my internet connection back today. If productive means watching 12 episodes of Smallville season 5 (bitin!! I will miss Jonathan. He is such a hunky old dude :p), 8 episodes (so far) of Lost Season 2, then I’m doing good so far. Harhar. (Thanks, Ruben!) Jay, you still owe me the DH Season 2 epis. Something to look forward to when you come back. Mishu!

0o0

A customer rep in Smart has actually done something right this time. Thank you Donald, whoever you are. You didn’t stop even if I didn’t pick up the phone 3x (I was already sleeping since you were 1.5 hours late as per agreement). You told me you were going to personally endorse my complaint to the Field Service folks so they can set-up a sked at once. Within 30mins they called. They normally do that after another week. Even if I’m still annoyed at Smart Bro’s service and I still wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, I’m glad that there is at least one among you who take customer orientation seriously.

0o0

While I was in Nasugbu with R, we met another kid. Francis is an 18yo kid who worked during the summer at the resort to earn some money to help his family and save some for his education. He is only a 2nd year high school student, stopping school every now and then due to poverty. But you don’t see despair on his face. Only hope. He was always smiling and ready to lend a helping hand. He became our local guide – helping us when he wasn’t busy with his resort chores. In return, we asked him to eat with us and offered him some money. But he refused the money. And when R and his brother were out to find a doctor for that evil lady who dampened our mood by her pag iinarte after she got hit by our Frisbee, he waited even after his shift just to thank the brothers. But since it was getting dark, and his home was about 30mins away by bus, he left reluctantly, but not before thanking us profusely.

Little did Francis know that it was he that I should have thanked. Not only for being such a great help, but because through him, I saw how R (and his family) were kind and thoughtful and real. R is without pretensions and he treats everyone with so much warmth, and on that day, he treated Francis like family. How can you not love that about my man? Hehe.

We bid our goodbyes to Francis, and we had told him earlier that he should finish his studies, and never lose track of his goals. And he made a promise to keep moving forward. Somehow, I know he meant to keep his promise. And even if our gesture of help was so little, I was happy because I know we also made an impact in his life somehow.

While I am not a snob, I sometimes get caught up in petty social exercises that do nothing to nurture my soul. R is helping me become a much better person, and I bet he doesn’t even know it. Because of him, I’ve rediscovered the essential things in life. And it’s just sheer joy. And for that I thank the high heavens.

0o0

It ain’t over till the fat lady sings. But while it’s too early to open a bottle of champagne or to light a cigar, I’m nevertheless thankful that after being with men who’ve left a bad taste in the mouth, I’m finally with someone who’s good to me and brings out the good in me as well. While he doesn’t treat me like a princess, he makes me feel like one. And there’s a world of difference in that.

0o0

Don't worry guys, even I am gagging at how saccharine this blog has become (wouldn't it be nice to actually not hear that song every time you check my blog? hehe). It's so not me. Wahaha. Eat my sugar!

Happy Independence Day, Filipinas!

Disclaimer: If this blog is getting too saccharine for your taste, redirect :)

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong

You know it’s gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stick together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through

The happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was never ending
Oh wouldn't it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married (we could be married)
And then we'd be happy (then we'd be happy)

Wouldn't it be nice

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But let’s talk about it
Oh, wouldn't it be nice

good night baby
sleep tight baby

good night baby
sleep tight baby

good night baby
sleep tight baby

good night baby
sleep tight baby

I didn’t realize the ballyhoo on the Tuesday date (6-6-06) until I tuned in to the radio that morning. Apparently, it raised a concern (even fear) on some people who believed that 666 is an evil number. A few believed it was the end of the world (we know now that isn’t true, of course), or unlucky or whatever fearful event might transpire.

Not really keen on believing such nonsense, I totally dismissed the whole thing. It wasn’t until night that housemates and I talked about it. While preparing to go to our neighbors for a despedida inuman session of sorts for K, we experienced a power fluctuation. All the appliances started slowing down, and the lights faded in and out. I thought for sure that a brownout was coming up, but lo and behold, as I checked my neighbors’ houses, they didn’t seem to be encountering the same problem. The whole light flickering thing went on until right before we slept. By morning, our lights and appliances were back to normal… Hmmm…

The inuman session was of course fun. We played the name game. I got the 1st drink when Ali’s first category was Rene Requiestas movies. Wtf. Hahaha. The best answer of course would have to go to James. He was immediately after Jerk who asked for the names of the 12 apostles, and James calmly answered “Paul”. How ironic, given that he’s named after an apostle. Hahaha.

The next blooper came from me. Again, it was Ali who got me. She asked for the names of the chipmunks (hello, no idea), and I shouted excitedly “Dale”.. Dirty, dirty. Hahaha.

The last category was 4-legged animals, and they forcibly asked me to drink the last shot after not accepting my kangaroo answer. Well, vindication’s sweet, is all I can say. Hahaha.

Everything went pretty uneventful after we ended the night. Except that most of the Gov party kids were downed by some strange stomach sickness the following day, except for my housemates and I. Must be their 666 curse. Hahaha. (Insert Jaws theme song here).

That's where you are right now. We both wish you were here instead. I want to go to the Pacific coast. Then I'd be comforted by the thought that no matter how far we are, we are looking at the same vast ocean.

I think about you all the time. When I pause, you creep into my thoughts, and my heart would wince almost at the same time. I still miss you. I don’t know when I will stop missing you. I don’t know if I want to stop missing you. I don’t know if I ever will. I wonder if your pauses are meant for me, too.

“You complete me”.

I used to laugh at that line. Cheesy. Cliché. But you do. I know I am whole without you. But with you, I’m not only whole. I’m alive. I’m happy.

The Gov kids had a few drinks again last night. I had fun. But still something was missing… Damn that name game. I still believe that a kangaroo has four legs. If you were here, we would have been laughing at this together. (Update: vindication. Mwahaha).

Not once did I stop thinking about you. And I was unconsciously waiting for that familiar beep that usually ended my night. You were the last person that I talked to before I close my eyes, sometimes the last face I saw before I drift off to sleep. I want to keep sharing my stories with you. I want to hear your stories. What I would give to make those times stretch longer than they did. I know you’re not gone forever. But then again, we don’t know what tomorrow brings. I can only keep hoping we can hold on.

I miss your laughter. And how you always made me laugh. More importantly, how you always make me smile. Even amidst tears.

Please come back. Come back to me. If not now, then soon…

I want you to be there beside me when the pauses come. To make the pauses less lonely…

Dear R,

My best friend asked me why I always end up with guys on borrowed time. I was wondering about this myself. It’s a trend I don’t intend to keep. As I was trying to find an answer to her question, I finally admitted to myself that I’ve been secretly wishing that this thing with us isn’t just another case of borrowed time and fleeting memories. I want this to be something more. And I’m hoping you want the same thing too.

I put up a brave face today. In front of your family, I was smiling like it didn’t hurt that you were finally leaving. I bet I even fooled you. I’ve always known our time together was coming to a close, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. I was crying inside, even while we were (still) horsing around. Not a tear shed even as I was watching you slowly disappearing into the departure area. But as your family went home, the rain started to pour really hard. And that wasn’t the only thing that did.

The rain has long stopped. But my tears have not. I’m going to miss you really bad. It will be long before I see you again. Before you hold me close again. And I’m not sure if either of us is cut out for all the uncertainty that we’re heading to.

Nevertheless, I no longer want to be that person who will fight her true feelings, appear unaffected and act tough. Yes, I am tough. But I completely unraveled because of you. And as much as I didn’t want to, I have fallen in love with you. I love you.

I hope to say that out loud to you in time. For now, I will say it for me. To remind myself that it’s ok to love again. It’s ok to be afraid, but not ok to run away. It’s ok to care about you, ok for my heart to beat for someone totally unexpected. You and I may be so different, but that doesn’t matter as much as the joy that I feel when I’m with you. The way you make me feel is something I will trade any time for any of the trappings that come with my life (style)…

The night before you left, I chose to be with you instead of out partying somewhere. Not a tinge of regret. I was exactly where I wanted to be. I would drop everything just to be with you, I know that now.

I will miss you so much. I already missed you as soon as we said our goodbyes. And though what happens next is something we will figure out one day at a time, and I cannot promise anything, I will try and hold on with all that my heart can manage.

Someday you will return, and I hope to be there waiting for you with open arms when you do. And I pray that your arms will be outstretched for me too. Maybe then, time is already ours to have, and not to borrow. Until then, may our hearts be strong and faithful…

Love,
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