Some people come into your life and they will linger forever. You say you have moved on and forgotten, but a simple dish, trinket, movie, a purple beanie, will bring you back to that certain time and place. Most people will make you laugh. Then some will make you cry. But only a few will make you laugh and cry, and you don’t mind. It doesn’t matter how much time you’ve spent with them. Five years. Six months. 30 days. What matters are the moments you had together, every single one of them, that you still vividly remember and hold dear in your heart. Memories that make you smile or shed a tear or two, but then these are memories you will never regret. And you are happy. Because you know, you have truly loved.

* * * * *

And in a completely schizophrenic comeback: Yipee! Am watching the cup finals tonight! And I say again, go Brazil! Ole! Ole! Ole! :)

SHAME ON ME :(
“To those who will never follow in his footsteps, submerged as they are in a world of cynicism, self-interest and frantic consumption, nothing could be more vicariously gratifying than Che's disdain for material comfort and everyday desires.” – Time 100: Heroes and Icons

Was in Xaymaca last night with Petite, Mark, Budjette, Brandie and a friend who was a contemporary in my student politics era. We checked out this red shirt (with a classic Che Guevara print) Mark bought. I was saying how cool it was when Mark said I could have it as long as I could explain to anyone who asks who Che was. That certainly got me stomped. All those years as a student activist, and I realize I hardly know anything about him. (Should I even be glad at least I know that Che is not just that cigar bar in Rockwell?) To me, he was a revolutionary symbol, an icon for the restless youth. Essentially, a real hero reduced to a myth and his true legacy lost on me. :( And that happened long before I got sucked into Corporate America. Sadly, I have no excuse. And as I read through the accounts of his ardor and passion in fighting against poverty, injustice and imperialism, I feel the shame stemming from my ignorance and inaction. I am as responsible as the government for the sad plight of our country. I am as responsible for driving my countrymen out of our beloved land for greener pastures. This Argentine with a Cuban citizenship who died in Bolivia to fight for his cause taught me so much this Saturday morning. I just hope, this time, I have a better grasp of what Che means to our generation and the future generations, and that his violent execution would not have been in vain.

* * * * *
Sorry, Ibalik, we brought a digi cam last night but did not take any pix. :)

* * * * *
Watching Deuce Bigalow on cable right now and I just noticed they mentioned the Filipino delicacy, bibingka, in that movie. Ala lang, I know Rob Schneider is half Filipino, but I’m not sure if that’s what got our bibingka it’s 30 seconds of fame. :P

* * * * *
Kainis yan si wru ha. He went to the States last Wed. and he called me while he was at the airport to tell me he was leaving in a couple of hours na. This morning he texted asking me to call him and I thought something bad must have happened and maybe his trip didn’t push through after all. So I call and guess what? He’s in L.A. And when I asked why he wanted me to call, he just said “Wala lang. Wala lang akong magawa.” Grrrr.

THOUGHTS ON A FRIDAY

I was telling Petite while we were in El Pueblo last weekend that I had a feeling of deja vu. I had thought there’s a place like that in San Jose, Costa Rica. I checked with MB. I was right, and guess what? It's also called El Pueblo!

* * * * *
Someone got to my site while searching for sex+organizer+Ortigas. Gawd, I didn't know you need an organizer for that nowadays.

* * * * *
A lot of folks have told me my previous colors were blinding. Egad! Hope these shades are better. I certainly can't afford eye surgeries :P

* * * * *
7 more days… My visa’s out. My shipment’s been surveyed. My plane ticket and pocket money’s ready. Shopped for stuff that I won’t find in the U.S. (Oishi’s Salt and Vinegar cracklings, Likas Papaya Soap, Mama Sita’s Tocino mix). Been in a send off frenzy. I’m all set to go, except I haven’t started packing yet. My unit is now filled with boxes and bags!! Panic mode begin…

* * * * *
Speaking of send off’s, one of my PE’s held one in his Cavite apt. last night. It was the first time that I bonded with the engineers in a non-work related way and I had so much fun. A few of the guys played the guitar (and we sang to Ehead’s Pare Ko, Huling EL Bimbo, Ligaya, and then Leaving on a Jet Plane, then more kantang-lasing songs) while we made tagay (ok, sorry, but I didn’t quite know how to articulate that.. haha) Gilbey’s gin washed down with orange juice, then some rum with Coke, chilled red wine, then more gin with OJ, then finally gin with pomelo juice. I know. Driving while drunk is absolutely unsafe. Specially, long distance driving, but I gratefully made it home (Makati) in one piece. Di na po uulitin!

But really, it’s been a while since I did that. You know, just hang out in somebody's house and get drunk while someone is playing an instrument in the background. So college days gimik! All the guys in the barkada knew how to play, and I, being the only rose, would monopolize all the songs na pang-girl. Hehe. Frustrated band singer kase :P

Also, it’s been a while since I let my hair down with office folks. Ever since I became a group leader, my former peers sort of stayed away from me. And the young ones (RCGs or the recent college graduates) just followed suit. It’s mostly because of work ethics more than anything else. (Or at least I hope it’s not because they hate me or something! Oh no!) But yeah, there’s such a thing as our non-fraternization policy. And the party-girl Trixy will just have to take the backseat while not-quite-mid-manager Trixy take the wheel. Last night though, naki-kwentuhang lasing din ako, admitting that RA, one of the managers here, was my crush, after one of the guys impersonated him, then declare RA was definitely gay. I had to defend RA, though I’ve long suspected that he might be (you know, those muscles, the deep voice and the tight shirts). :P I was thinking I’ll be gone for almost a year anyways, and maybe their memories are short, and that alcohol might even make it shorter. By 2003, they'll think that party-girl Trixy was just a figment of their imagination. Lol!

THREE TRUTHS AND A LIE
During our long drives in Costa Rica, we used to play this game to while the time away. I was with some other Asian workmates and we became barkada mostly because there was so few Asians back then, as in, we literally stood out in the crowd.

Anyway, the object is to guess the lie. So, can you guess the lie from each of the sets below? :P

* * A * *
1. I was a member of the LFS during college and almost got kicked out of school for disrupting classes during a noise barrage.
2. I started drinking beer when I was 13 years old.
3. I’ve never had a traffic ticket since I started driving in Manila 4 years ago.
4. I never wore braces and I still have my complete set of permanent teeth all intact.

* * B * *
1. Played in the football varsity for women back in high school and didn’t mind playing barefoot with the guys wearing spikes.
2. My orgmates forced me to join an inter-school (computer org) beauty pageant in college and won third place.
3. When I was in grade 5, I climbed up our water tank to watch the village Santacruzan but was too scared to go down, my dad had to fetch me there.
4. I’ve always worn my hair long, the length below my shoulders, at least.

* * C * *
1. The monkey bar was my favorite playground equipment and I loved swinging from one bar to another.
2. The wildest thing I’ve ever done was white water rafting in two rivers in Costa Rica. Ok. So wild can mean different things :P
3. I once hid a boy in my closet because my mom arrived earlier than usual ;-)
4. I was a member of the praise and worship team in our church for a year or so in college.

* * D * *
1. My favorite color is purple.
2. My favorite ice cream flavor is mango.
3. My favorite Starbucks coffee is hot mocha with non-fat milk, without whip.
4. My favorite shirt color is white.

* * E * *
1. I can fluently speak three Philippine dialects, including Tagalog.
2. I have visited more than 15 Philippine cities, excluding Cebu City.
3. I’ve been to four countries outside of the Philippines, excluding layovers.
4. I’ve only been to five states in the U.S.

FINALS
As expected. Brazil vs. Germany. Go Brazil! Of course. :)

MISSING
Some Intel Utah employees helped on this missing girl's website. I hope she'll be found.

TRIXY WAS
More fun than this. Stolen from Shiloah and Russel. :)

* the most beautiful girl in the kingdom
* female
* listening, and she pointed out that several of those in attendance were certainly acting like idiots
* gorgeous but not altogether the brightest
* immediatly smitted
* a great dog - Spanky really enjoyed playing with her
* an excellent object lesson
* a whore and Mother wanted to get her out
* missing her hat
* never a problem, always like a second mommy to our daughter
* eventually evicted but trashed the house before she left, breaking windows, cupboards and defacing walls

DRAINED
My face-to-face meeting finally ended yesterday (so goodbye to my Costa Rican muscle boy – MB - who thought I hated him.Yeah, I did think he was a pain in the butt but I changed my mind about him the moment I saw him… hehe). I expected that it would be a slow, relaxed week, instead I left feeling an impending doom of the millions of deliverables in the next two or three quarters. Good thing that my team was actually able to handle our urgent customer request pretty well even without me, despite a couple of schedule pull-ins. But on the first two days, I had a heartburn, being bombarded with all that, plus all the travel problems concerning me and my engineers. There are so many loopholes in the relocation guidelines, plus the service just plain sucks. I’m so drained.

* * * * *
Our last lunch together yesterday went from bad to worst. Bad: We took the visitors to the now non-existent Angelino’s in Pasay Road. Kakahiya! Worse: We headed to Italliani’s in Greenbelt 2 and we were told there was a 30-min wait, so we transferred to Magnum. 1 and ½ hrs and several pieces of bread later, only the fish orders arrived but the steaks have not. And we were told for the nth time, that it will only take a few minutes more. Now very angry and very hungry, MB got up and told the manager we were paying for our drinks and leave as it was taking too damn long. Several others began to crowd the manager, and she let us go, without paying for anything. But free drinks and bread just didn’t seem like something to be remotely smug about considering we wasted our time waiting for nothing. Worst: We decided to take out food in KFC, a friggin’ fast food, but damn, we had to wait 15 minutes before we got all our orders. And I didn’t even get my spoon and fork.

* * * * *
Because of that lunch fiasco, I wasn’t able to go to the OB to get my ultrasound results and talk with the doctor about the findings. Which is why Petite saw my ovaries na! :P But thanks for taking notes for me! Anyway doc told me during the visit NOT to worry but the internet articles aren’t as optimistic. She did say that it was what probably got my metabolism screwed up. Kaya pala.. Hehehe.. :P

* * * * *
MB did invite me to watch the World Cup semis bet Germany and Korea at Hard Rock. But I was really too drained to even be tempted. Anyway, Korea lost:( Since's he was rooting for Germany, I'm guessing he would tease me continously about it. Speaking of the cup, here's a blog about it... O, Sieg and Rene, for the fanatics like us! hehe..

LONG DAY (Part II)
SEND OFF
We definitely had a blast singing our hearts out at IO last Saturday. But even as we were goofing around, I had fleeting moments of sadness. I might not likely make it back home for my best friend’s big day. I’m sadder that I can’t be here to help out with the preparations nor here for the much-anticipated bridal shower for a great great friend. My dearest classmates will be way ahead of me in school this time next year. I will miss “the girls”, my first girlfriends in MBA, who, despite the short time I’ve known them have really been such wonderful people. Also, even if we’ve started to grow apart, I realized I have not stopped caring for a friend (friendship can’t be undone just like that pala). And yes, I will miss him dearly as well.

Just one more weekend to go, then I’ll be off to rainy Oregon. I really am leaving. I’ve even been sent off. :(

P.S.
I managed to text SC the night before and he said he’d try to make it. But he didn’t show up. So I guess that ends that crush episode. Bit disappointed, but nah, not really :)

LONG DAY (Part I)
Only had a couple of hours sleep. Came from an all-nighter. Last Saturday was one of the longest days I've had --- crammed on my final paper in the morning, dropped by school to submit the paper and that of a good friend’s, went to the OB-GYN with my best friend (before you ask, no, I’m not pregnant, nor is she… hehe) which was the reason I arrived late in my send-off party, caught the Fete at El Pueblo, arrived home around 4AM, then woke up a few hours later to go to Cavite to move out from my apartment there. I’m tired, dazed, euphoric, sad, brain-dead, pensive and my plan to catch up on work today is on hold. But yeah, there’s always time to blog :P

FETE DE LA MUSIQUE
Went to the event with Petite and Mark (and timely bumped into Budjette and Brandie, who kindly parallel-parked for me, thanks!) after the send-off thingy in IO KTV. And I rate it muy excellente! (Ok, not French, but anyhow..)

Highlights:
* Found out this festival originated in France, and eventually taking root in several cities worldwide, to celebrate music and culture, every 21st of June, day of the summer solstice, incidentally, the longest day of the year.
* Danced reggae while listening to Brownman Revival by the door of Tequila Joe’s (yeah, the place was packed talaga, and of course, the same was true everywhere else in El Pueblo). I really liked them. It was so bitin, so we talked about catching them in Xaymaca this Friday. Oi, tuloy tayo ha! :P
* Incidental EB with fellow bloggers Shiloah and Jessel while hanging out outside of TJ’s. The introductions went like “Oh this is so and so, blogger, and these are, so and so, non-bloggers”. hehehe. Really.
* Caught a few alternative bands in Sidebar where Shiloah joined the San Mig beer drinking contest.. Galeng! We were able to catch Murder of Crows (whose female vocalist also did the drums, so kinda cool), Mojo Fly and Eraserheads without Ely and the female vocalist’s rendition of Magasin just couldn’t compare to the original. Oh heck, at least Petite got to touch Marcus’s (?) frizzy hair. Hihi.
* I’m now a certified fan of the Spy, who performed at the Main stage. Their repertoire of reggae combined with Santana-like guitar renditions was the best!
* Never thought I’d be jamming to ethnic music again. Pinikpikan brought me back to my iskolar ng bayan high school days, and our makabayan professors who enlightened us about the beauty and uniqueness of Filipino art and culture.
* I also managed to listen to that Noel (?.. Sorry, I really don't know him) guy who sang about peace (the festival theme) at the final act. Galing ng boses. Ganda ng musika.
* Used the festival to meet up with a few high school buds, who initially didn’t sound too excited about watching the bands at the main stage, but, nothing, not even years of apathy or old age (ouch!), can take away that “pagmamahal at pagtangkilik ng sariling atin”. And yes, they enjoyed the party as well :)

Not-so-lowlights:
* Expectedly, finding a parking space and squeezing in through hordes of people in El Pueblo wasn’t one of the good things that happened that night.
* I was dumb enough to wear high-heeled slip ons, and after standing up for more than 3 hours, I went home from the Fete with sore feet :(
* We went to Racks to sit down and freshen up a bit (or you know, whatever we could manage under the circumstances – like Shiloah, a lot of people stepped on my vulnerable feet, and I was all sweaty and sticky by 1AM). Actually, we wanted to order a couple rounds of beer, but can you believe it? They ran out! No beer! Actually, no alcoholic drink of any sort left for the thirsty crew. That was a first. (I was finally able to quench my thirst for San Mig light by the main stage but by 3PM they also ran out. Bummer. Well, it was time to go home anyways.. Hah. Sourgraping.)
* Wasn’t able to catch Cynthia Alexander and Barbie’s Cradle. Just couldn’t be at two places at the same time. Deng.

____________________________
* Go check out Lisa (belated happy birthday) and Paulo, whose blogs I’ve been stalking for quite some time now (see links at the right). :) I've added a few new links as well.

MY FIRST

Friday Five
1. Do you live in a house, an apartment or a condo? Condo, at the 4th floor.
2. Do you rent or own? Rent.
3. Does anyone else live with you? Most of the time, no. A few times my sister who lives in Olongapo but works in Ortigas stays during the weekdays when the commute back home is too much.
4. How many times have you moved in your life? Gawd, too many times.. More than 10 times in the last five years. But I lived with my parents for a long time before that and we never moved. In fact, it's the same "home" I go back to in lovely Cebu during vacations.
5. What are your plans for this weekend? Submit final paper (Yey! Classes are over... But waahh.. I might never see SC ever again... huhuhu...); my send off party and maybe catch Fete de la Musique after; my first ever OB-GYN visit; move out of my Cavite apartment (pack up my TV, fan, stove, cabinets... arrrgh!); and catch up on work this Sunday because I have been in a Face to Face meeting since Wednesday (till next Wednesday) so I have tons of emails and deliverables I have to work on! Nice, huh.

NO WONDER
Now I know why my site keeps on showing up on those perverted Google searches. Played this little "game", swiped from at least a couple of folks. Apparently, Trixy is a dog (all colors, kinds and sizes, furry, not furry.. deng!), Leukemia-positive kitten, rat, a white monkey, horse, a guineapig, a wee wee three inches tall (what the ...?!), a small transporter with a half box (say what?), a clown, a cute little dragon, an artiste, witch school student (and I thought Hermoine was the only cool witch in school.. hehe..), flower girl (a bride! a bride is a lot better! hehe).. and the worst results:

* shows us her feet and much more
* tied to the bed
* definitely not your average 18 year old nymphomaniac
* the first sacred sex worker to reveal the uglier side of the industry (sacred and sex worker in one description... really?!)

Why can't I get more of the likes of: hometown girl next door, person who has a real zest for life... I can even take, "human and crashed down at earth when the Beast Wars started". Anything but the above. :P

Waah! Even Google is not cooperating with me these days (I've been really tempted to rant about our travel folks here again. But... Ah, the countless heartburns they've caused!) :P

Maybe I should just change my name. I've always wanted a Spanish-sounding name anyways - Isabella, Katalina, Jeovana, Elicia, Arabela, Milena... Hhhmm... What do you think? :)

HELP!
I need some serious help. First of all, and I know I'm not alone, I need a cure for my shopping addiction. Just last weekend, I was telling Petite, while we were shopping around for clothes, that I won't buy any more shoes because #1: I already have so many pairs that some of them still actually smell and look new, and #2: My U.S. shoe wardrobe consists of sneakers and boots since OR is not a good place to wear strappy sandals (rains a lot and so friggin' cold) and to get by around the building, we have to do a lot of walking. But yesterday, I was on my second round of shopping, and I walked by the shoe stores and on the third stop, I gave in. Arrghhh... I now have a new pair of strappy black slip ons. I still have a few more days to try wear them, and then good bye fashionable shoes and hello Nike Prestos!

Second, and I've been telling my close friends this, I'm really struggling the past few days. I dunno if CB started all this or if it's because I've been spending some time at the gym. I've been noticing men and their great bods, and sometimes I get distracted. Like I am today. I think I'm almost lusting for one of the Costa Rican engineers I'm having a Face-to-Face meeting with. Dem. I'm not sure if I can last four more days like this. Ironically, this guy was someone I bickered with a lot over the phone and in email and I promised myself when we meet I'm gonna give him a taste of my katarayan. Instead, I get distracted looking at his well-toned bod. Eeek. Lustful thoughts go away!

P.S.
Thanks to Unica Hija for your help on the spa thingy. Maybe I should go to one before I leave to cast away all these feelings and addictions. Hah.

DAY SPA
I’ve been searching the net for some info on day spa centers (preferably within Q.C., Makati, Ortigas) and corresponding bridal packages. I already have a few contact numbers but if you guys know of any more, I’d really appreciate it if you leave a note. :) Thanks!

RIDE, SALLY, RIDE
WTF! I really am addicted, to be blogging at 3AM. :) Or maybe I’m still hyper coming from my gimik (or was it the sinful Green Tea frap from Starbucks I tried for the first time earlier this afternoon, or yesterday afternoon, that is– yummy!).

Mustang Manila is really worth all the raves. (btw, thanks to Bunny who blogged about this new hot spot in town!)

wru has been pestering me to go out since Thursday night. Not a date. I dunno, but I seemed to have earned the role of gimik organizer among my Saturday MBA buddies. Why kaya? :P Anyway, told him we could check out Mustang 'coz I heard it was a local Coyote Ugly and it would be interesting to see how it compared to Cebu’s ledge-dancing waiters and waitresses in Mi Vida. But I said we could just go out next weekend since I really wanted to just rest this weekend (I’ve started to pack my stuff, and boy, I have a lot! Kakapagod!). But he just wouldn’t quit. I asked J to come with us but he didn't want to go out (I was too lazy to invite other people). But I wasn’t up to being wru’s yaya, either, him being a brat and all. At the last minute, I managed to convince my cousin and another girl friend to go with us. And no regrets! We all had so much fun!

We first drove by at 9PM. The place was like a cemetery. Gosh, I felt like such an old fart. We were too early palaj. We decided to grab a few drinks in Congo Grill and came back 10PM. Still, there were only about 12 people inside the bar. I was beginning to think people were wrong about this being a party place and all. But 1030PM people started arriving in droves and in no time, I was feeling claustrophobic. Tangina, it was so warm, I could hardly breathe and my eyes were teary from the smoke. 11PM, three girls went up the bar. Michelle, Bea, and I-forgot-her-name, all mestiza-looking gals, a former San Diego, CA lifeguard, kindergarten school teacher, and a nun, respectively, or so they say. Whatever. Not that it mattered. In their skimpy red tops and exposed bellies, piercings and tattoos, they started to strut their stuff. Mustang Sally, think you better slow your mustang down. What the girls lacked in grace, they made up for with their slim bods (if I were PMSing, I would have cried with envy!), and jiggling their hearts out. Grabe. I guess the PHP200 consumable fee men have to pay is worth it. Soon they called some brave men up and removed their shirts and they all got jiggy! Hah. It’s not just a man’s bar after all. Like a full-monty (or half-monty). Hot. *wicked smile*

By midnight the place was jampacked, both inside the bar and outside. It was so hard to get to the door. After exchanging sweats with one million and one people, we finally managed to get out, sweating heavily like we just came out of a sauna. But like any party, people should only go to this place if they are prepared to drink, scream and dance. In other words, bawal ang killjoy. Sieg, and Nic, you guys definitely need to check this place out. *wicked smile again*

______________________________________________________
I finally met another blogger who wasn’t already my friend. He's as charming and warm as he sounds in his blogs.. :) Hiya, Nic, enjoy the rest of your stay in Manila, and thanks again for the Friends discs!

RUSTY

Look who's rusty in the flirting arena...

Scenario #1
Trixy could not find her school assignment on the textbook. Light bulb lits up. A reason to text SC. Trixy spends 30 mins editing a message so it doesn't sound like she's only texting him, because the thing is, she has five close friends in class that she can ask instead of him. She ended up with :"Hi. Can't find homework in text. Do you know what page?" Still paranoid that he might think she's really just trying to find an excuse to text him, which she was, she actually sent the same message to the five friends. As if he'll ever know. SC replied immediately saying he doesn't know the page because he left his book in the office and offered to fax the assignment to Trixy. She spent another 30 mins. composing a reply. 30 mins to say, "No na lang. Thanks! I'm waiting for our other classmates to text me back, maybe they know." 30 mins to make it sound like she could care less if he texted back while her heart was beating wildly at the sight of his name in her inbox. Trixy acts like she's 19. Like that quiz said. Heck, maybe even 12.

Scenario #2
Trixy and her ol' MBA friends are getting together next weekend. Despedida thingy. She was egged to invite SC. J, one of her close guy classmates opens up the topic during the break. She kept making signs to J in sheer panic. They finally get inside a cramped elevator and only then did Trixy manage to mutter behind SC "Oi, join ka ha.." And he muttered a response she couldn't figure out before he got off to his floor. Deng.

Hhmm.. Good thing Raymond posted about this guide. Someone needs it so bad.. :P

INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE*

Eat plenty of whole rice. - Dunno what whole rice is. :P
Give people more than they expect and do this willfully. - Love someone WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING in return. Very hard to do but it can be done.
Learn by heart your favorite song. - I just have a hard time memorizing a song by heart. But 1st, have to figure out my most favorite. Dami eh.
Don't believe anything you hear and do not sleep as much as you would like to.
When you say "I love You", say it truthfully.
When you say I'm sorry, say it with eye contact.
Believe in love at first sight. - Maybe I should :)
Never mock other's dreams.
Love deeply and passionately. You may get hurt, but this is the only way to live life at it's fullest. - So I'm not a masochist? :P
Deal with discontentment, fight fairly, but do not offend.
Do not judge others because of their relatives.
Talk slow, think fast.
Remember that the greatest love and the greatest success also hold many risks.
Call your Mom.
Bless a person who has just sneezed.
When you lose, do not lose the lesson.
Remember: respect for yourself, respect for others, and responsibility for your actions.
Do not allow a small disagreement to hurt a great friendship.
When you notice that you have made a mistake, take the appropriate steps to correct it.
Smile when you answer the phone. Those who call can "hear" your smile.
Marry (or be with) the person you love talking to the most. When you get old, conversation will be more important than anything else.
Spend some time alone.
Accept change with open arms; yet do not give up your values.
Remember that sometimes silence is the best answer.
Read more books and watch television less.
Live a good, honorable life. Later, when you grow old and remember the past, you will enjoy them once more.
Believe and trust God, whomever/whatever you conceive God to be, but securely lock your car.
An atmosphere of love at your home is most important.
Do not bring back the past.
Read in-between the lines.
Share your knowledge. It is the way to live forever.
Be gentle with our Earth planet.
Pray. Prayer has incredible power.
Never interrupt someone who flatters you.
Take care of your problems.
Do not trust a man or woman who does not close their eyes when you kiss them. I wouldn't know because I always close my eyes when I kiss.. hehe..
Once a year, visit a place you have never seen before.
If you make a lot of money, channel it so as to help others while you are alive. This is the greatest satisfaction a treasure can reward you.
Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is very lucky.
Learn all the rules, and then break some.
Remember that the greatest relationships are the ones in which the love between two people is greater than the need one has of the other.
Judge your success in light of what you had to give up in order to obtain it.

*forwarded, italics/bold mine, and amen!!

MOVING SOON
In a few weeks I’ll be moving again. I don’t know how many times I’ve packed/unpacked my stuff the last five years. I do know that I’ve done it once too many that it has become one of my not-so-favorite things to do. The thing is, you can never get all your things to fit into those boxes. No matter what you do, you’ll have to leave behind a few things. And I’m a sentimentalist, so I hate it when I have to part with a favorite trinket that a special someone gave me, even temporarily. But it doesn’t make sense either if I pack everything. It’s not only impractical. But there’s also a chance that it will just gather dust because it is certain that you will acquire/receive new things, and these things will become more important than the others before them. Maybe because you have finally let go of an old love and all the memories that come with him, or maybe you have outgrown your obsession over candles and dolphins. And what about the people you leave behind? Their happy faces in your albums can never replace their warm hugs or soothing voices. People always ask me if it’s hard to be living on my own. And honestly, it’s not. But it’s because I know that my parents are just an hour away by plane, and that my older sisters are just a few miles away. It’s different when I’m out of the country. Yes, after a while I learn to get by and get used to the empty apartment, and hanging out with virtual strangers and even make new friends with some of them, but no one can ever replace your family. Sometimes you get tricked into thinking that somebody could actually take the place of the important people in your life. And you actually believe that you’re ok. But sooner or later, reality catches up, and once it does, you remember that you are in a temporary world, and that people do strange things in order to survive the loneliness and the pain of separation from the world, as you know it.

At this point, I am neither sad nor happy. Or maybe I feel both. Part of me is saying – No, not again. Not when I have actually begun to feel comfortable in my Makati apartment, even if I hate it that the building is right next to a garbage truck parking lot or that my former-bold-actor neighbor is so arrogant I can’t even park in front of his apartment even for 15 mins. Not when I’ve actually begun to get used to my single-again lifestyle and enjoying the company of friends, occasional dates, family, and most of all, loving being on my own. In the real sense of the word. For the first time in so many years. Not when I have learned to juggle school, work, social life. Or even as babaw as: not when SC and I are finally getting to know each other. :P

But I need this change. Though I can say I’ve become much better at handling loss now, sometimes the pain manages to resurface. One of the most painful things is to lose a friend just when you have let him in your life and in your heart. And I need to be physically away. To forget. And move on. I need this career break. I’ve been out of the “limelight” since my product ramped down at the latter part of Q4’01. Which means I never really had the chance to exercise my leadership fully. Now I have the chance to start up a new product in my site. For a junior group leader, this is a very challenging task but I welcome that with all my heart. Call me strange, but I miss those early morning phone calls from the manufacturing personnel. I miss those off-hours meetings and weekend on-call situations. I want to be back in the picture again, and this is what I need. I need to grow. This time around, I’ll be looking out for the welfare of my team, not just my own. This time around, I have dozens of undefined responsibilities on top of my technical assignment. I actually am looking forward to seeing my former colleagues – specially my former mentor. :D

I’ll be putting on my techie hat pretty soon. And it’s scary and exciting at the same time.

Ahh. Time to pack those winter clothes again.

Was out with my nephews (Tonton - 14, Chinchin - 12) and nieces (Cheche - 11, Mia - 4) last weekend. The kids always make lambing and ask me to take them out. The three older kids are either as tall or taller even than me, so it feels like hanging out with a barkada instead of playing Tita-cum-nanny. :) I'm definitely going to miss my kids...

We went mall-hopping. Coffee (for me) and frosties for them at the Powerplant Mall. Movie (Episode II. hehe) at G4. Mia liked the movie. Yoda has a new fan :P Stroll at Greenbelt 3 Park. Dinner at the Banana Leaf Curry House. The 30-min wait was worth it. Eating in a banana leaf is an interesting concept. I also love Thai food, and they served them delicious. The deep fried fish in spicy sauce and deep fried curry chicken made me forget my low-cal diet. :P Kinda pricey, but this resto made it to my list of favorites.

Speaking of restos, visited Dencio's in Tagaytay last week with some MBA buddies for a few rounds of drinks. Lovely view. And of course, nothing beats the cool Tagaytay air. :)

RANDOM THOUGHTS
... after a rather harrowing day.

* My saga with the travel folks continues. They committed to send an email by 330PM, and they're already an hour behind. And so I say again, grrrrr!!!
* I've been feeling more harassed than normal. The pressure of tying loose ends before I leave in July is hanging over my head like a sword. Or maybe it's the Fita crackers I've been eating for lunch the past two days. Anything that's 150 calories (~9 crackers), with 11% fat for a 2,000-calorie diet (and I'm way below that) could not be good, right?
* What is it with after-office hour meetings! Two days in a row. Arrgghh...
* We were talking about High Impact Leadership Dev't Program in our staff meeting today. The department just came out of a teambuilding last week and we had several realizations. We discussed about the Pygmalion Effect. I realized I've been doing this in my relationships. Our common friends (and even net friends) told me that TLB was bad news, and I expected him to leave me because he seemed like the type who couldn't commit. I must have communicated that expectation through my hot and cold treatment or the way I always doubted his honesty everytime he tells me something really sweet by giving him that look where I raise my left eyebrows and dismiss it as "bola". One thing I did learn after that relationship: I will listen to my heart more, the next time around. And that is not to say that I will let it rule, just that, I should have a little more faith. I certainly don't want to lose any more good people.
* See, those Fita crackers are really bad. Not just for the health, but for the mind. There we were trying to analyze an organizational problem, and my mind was off analyzing a failed relationship...
* To Outlook (and-the-like) addicts like moi, there is a cure!
* Hhmm.. I know I said I'll be blogging scarcely about work, but sometimes I couldn't help it. I should take Mona's lead and start a corporate slave series of my own. I'll call it Trixbert. Heh.

GRRRR....
These people have the gall to call themselves Travel Service.*

Case #1 My passport is allegedly still with DFA, because, fuck it, I was a government scholar and I was blacklisted since the year of my graduation until I complete the terms of service. But hello, they had it since 1st week of April, and it's now June. You can do the math.

Case #2 One of my engineers have consecutive assignments in Malaysia, then in the U.S. I cannot update her employee profile because they need to approve the assignments. If I don't update her profile, then they can't even process her 1st assignment. I've sent the approval request a week ago, and until now, no update! What the hell is the deal?

Case #3 I wanted to make changes to my travel booking and one week after my email, still no friggin' reply!!!

*Travel Service - Their job is to assist the needs of all travellers. That is, if they ever answer your emails or phone calls. Oh yeah, I think they own a stone they can easily swallow to make them conveniently disappear for most of the day.

SIS
My kid sister was here over the weekend, coming from a nationwide convention in Baguio. She brought home a sash after winning Best Muse, representing Region VII. Eyen is the only one into this kind of thing. She was once a ramp model back home but quit after a few months because her agent kept telling her she was too fat (she's around 5'5" and weighed about 115 lbs!) and she didn't have that "hungry look". Good thing for her because she was beginning to have an eating disorder.

Anyway, she's the youngest girl in the family so sometimes I forget that she's all grown up now, and she's as old as some of my MBA classmates even. I kept checking on her when she was out with her friends on Saturday afternoon, forgetting that she possesses the same "lakas ng loob", characteristic of Aries women. And that yes, she is already a woman. I guess most of the time I still feel that I need to protect my younger sisters from the harsh realities of the world. Ann, who's next to me, even told me one time, "Ate, I'm not a kid anymore. I'm married now." Oh yeah. Right. But I'll always be an "Ate" (older sis), and I will carry that with me even if in truth I'm more child-like in my ways than the rest.

We hung out at Moomba in Quezon City Saturday night. I like the ambiance. The native theme complete with lamps hanging from the ceiling won my two thumbs up. And with beer that costs about PHP40 and mixed drinks starting from PHP70, I couldn't ask for more. And the music in this bar and resto is upbeat - an ecclectic mix of rave, R&B and pop. I have only four weekends to go before I leave, but I'd like to be back if I can squeeze it in.

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Watched 40 Days and 40 Nights. Josh is such a cutie. And I had a lot of laughs. But I echo the question - what is so hard about 40 days? Then again, I'm a girl. :)

CRUSH
I feel young. I have a crush. And that makes me feel happy because I know that I'm not that jaded girl I sometimes think I've become. Crushes reminds me of my youthful, more carefree days. Back when all that mattered were the simple joys in life. I remember high school when we had codes for our crushes. Only now I don't know how I could have named a very masculine dark, handsome man - Strawberry Shortcake. :P

This school crush of mine, SC, is really making me kilig these days. And I'm blessed with friends who are helping to make those "moments".. :) Adjacent seats at the lunch table, a few minutes together at the mall. Even that thwarted car ride one rainy night after school. Hihihi... Too bad school is gonna be over soon.. Too bad because even if people think I'm such a "new millenium" woman, I'm still a conventional Filipina in some ways. Subtle flirtation (if there is such) I can do. But asking someone out, or something to that effect, that, uhm, I'll have to leave to the brave souls out there. Maybe it's my upbringing. Maybe it's fear of rejection. Maybe it's fear of coming on too strong, because let's face it, a lot of men are "afraid" or worse, turned off by my kind. Whatever it is, I'm not going there. Yet. Besides, what makes having a crush feel wonderful is that feeling of unattainability. You know how window shopping is so enjoyable? And how it can make a really bad day take a turn to better? That is how it feels. And I like it that way. For now :)

Ok. I'm going out with my younger sis who's going back to Cebu already tom. The night is young. *grin*